


The Spirit Manifest

by RoyEdIsMyAesthetic



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Parents, Brotherhood, Brothers, Bullet wound, Child Abuse, Child Death, Childhood, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Fainting, Fire, Forgiveness, Gun Violence, Guns, Ishval Civil War, M/M, Mental Instability, Murder, Red String of Fate, References to Illness, Romance, Sickness, Suicide, Teenagers, Terminal Illnesses, Time Loop, Time Skips, Time Travel, War, Wartime, attempted suicide, bullet, collapse, house fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7580812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic/pseuds/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward Elric learns about Mustang's childhood and life as a young adult in a unique way. Ed eventually discovers that the two of them are connected in a way he never could have imagined.  </p><p>"Tell me... are you trying to save my soul, Edward Elric?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Playing in the Dirt

Central City, Amestris. 1917

 

"It's amazing how a man who's so damn lazy can get such a big paycheck! I mean look at this place!" Edward stated loudly as he and Alphonse walked into their superior, Roy Mustang's, home.

The house was large and luxurious when compared to the military dorms that they usually stayed in. It had a polished wood floor and a grand staircase that led up to the balcony which allowed access to more rooms. It also gave guests a view of the atrium which was neatly furnished and had flowering potted plants on the tables and in the corners. Though Mustang liked to keep up a good appearance, Al assumed that the home had been decorated by someone else. It was a nice place to relax which had been duly earned by a hard worker.

"You need to give the Colonel some credit, Brother," the suit of armor said, defending the man who wasn't there to defend himself. "He really does work hard; you just don't realize it."

Edward twirled around the ring of keys he was holding on his index finger. "Phtt! Working hard or hardly working? If that bastard gets anything done, it's because Hawkeye is breathing down his neck and threatening to shoot him in the head! Now what do we need to get done?"

Alphonse looked down and studied the note that Hawkeye had left them. The housekeeper, Helga, had to leave suddenly because of a family emergency, and Mustang was away at an important meeting. Since everyone else was busy, Hawkeye had given them the keys to the front door and forced them, under threat of being shot, into doing the chores around the house that needed to be attended to.

"There are plants on the second floor that need to be watered and we're supposed to dust the living room, the office, the Colonel's bedroom, and the four guest rooms."

A mischievous smile spread across Ed's face as he clapped his gloved hands, rubbing them together with anticipation. "I'm going to get his bedroom! I bet I can dig up some good dirt in there!"

"Dirt?" Al asked dumbly.

"Personal stuff that we can use against him for blackmail," Edward clarified.

Al playfully knocked his brother across the top of the head with his leather glove. "You're horrible, Brother! You're just upset because he raised his voice the last time you talked to him. We're gonna clean each of the rooms together, and you're gonna leave the man in peace!"

Ed grumbled, and with feet dragging, he followed his younger brother upstairs. They swept the floors and dusted the furniture in the two guest rooms before they came upon a larger carpeted room with a queen sized bed. Unlike the other rooms which had paintings on the walls, this one had none. Instead, it only had a couple of framed pictures which stood on the side table. Ed set down his feather duster and walked alongside the table, his eyes scanning over the pictures. The majority of them were of Elicia or of Elicia with her father. Even though he'd prefer not to admit it, those ones made his heart ache.

There was a picture of Roy and Hughes together when they were in their teens. There was also a picture of Roy and Hawkeye- both well dressed in civilian clothes for a formal function. But at the end of the table, in a much smaller frame, were pictured two individuals that Ed didn't recognize. Ed picked up the frame and examined the photograph.

Shown under a leafless birch tree was a four or five year boy with rectangular wire glasses on his nose, freckles, short tawny brown hair, and large hazel eyes. He smiled widely, showing off two gaps where his baby teeth had fallen out. Standing next to him with an arm around his shoulders was a taller boy of about six or seven years old with long, onyx hair which he tied up in a ponytail at the back of his head, like Ed would do when he was too lazy or just too tired to braid his hair. His eyes were as dark as obsidian and they had a playful twinkle in them which matched his small, but mischievous, lopsided smile.

"Wow! That sort of looks like the Colonel, doesn't it?!" Al exclaimed, looking over Ed's shoulder.

"No..." Ed hummed thoughtfully,

He paused and sniffled. The dust was making his nose itch. "I-I think that it's the bastard's bastard child himself!"

Alphonse playfully nudged his brother in the side and before walking away and going back to dusting.

"You don't know that it isn't!" Ed said loudly back to him.

Al paid him no mind and Ed sank back in an armchair which was positioned in the corner of the room. He wiped his nose with the back of his crimson coat sleeve. Then, placing his elbow on the armrest, he rested his cheek on the palm of his left hand. He only stayed in that position for a few seconds before he was interrupted by the sound breaking glass and the squeak of floor boards. The sound had come from down the hall.

Ed slowly stood up out of his chair. "Ya heard that, Al?"

Al nodded. Cautiously, Ed quietly made his way to the door.

He peeked out and looked left and right down the hall. He nodded back at his brother, telling him to follow, before he steeped outside, turning his head as he heard another crash come from downstairs. He ran toward the railing of the wrap-around balcony, and just as he was about to look down, he heard a crack explode in the back of his mind as stars burst in front of his eyes, clouding his vision before the world went black.

Ed felt the floor being pulled out from underneath him and his stomach fell to his feet as he felt that sudden drop before he was weightless. Air howled as it went past his ears and his long bangs flapped in the air like birds wings as he continued to fall.

His speed was decreasing now.

The howling subsided into a faint whistle and his heart leapt with surprise as he felt his toes gently come into contact with the ground. Ed let out ragged breath as he shifted back and forth on his feet, making sure his fall had truly come to an end. Hesitantly, his eyes blinked open, which he hadn't realized we're closed in the first place.

He was no longer in the Colonel's home.

The first thing that hit him was the dust which tickled his nose and scratched the inside of his throat. He was outdoors, staring at a barren landscape and the cloudless hazy blue sky. The grey, cracked ground stretched on toward the horizon where it came into contact with a chain of purple mountains. Scattered around were a few short trees and small shrubs, but they were all lacking in leaves, and all that remained of them were grayish brown skeletons.

Narrowing his eyes, Ed spun around and was surprised to see a small farmhouse, bordered by rickety, rustic looking farm fencing. Close to the house was a wire pen where about four or five chickens clucked and scratched at the dusty ground. Scattered about were more shrubs, metal barrels, unused bales of hay, and an old wooden cart which could be pulled by a mule or a horse. In the distance, Ed could see a cluster of wooden houses- a small town.

"What the heck am I doing here?" Ed asked himself softly.

Ed tensed up when he felt the barrel of a gun being pressed against the small of his back. He didn't dare move. But then to his surprise however, he didn't hear the voice of a man, but instead, he heard that of a child.

"State your name, rank, and order of business!" the child said in a rather high pitched voice.

Ed's golden eyes widened. "You're- you sound like a little kid!"

"Who are you calling little?" the young boy retorted. "Ever take a look in the mirror?"

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

Ed tried to look over his shoulder as he heard the boy laugh. "That's a touchy subject for you, ain't it? Anyway, you didn't do what I originally asked of you. State your name, rank, and order of business."

Ed nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Edward Elric... Major... um... I'm not actually sure what my order of business is. In fact, I don't even know how I got here. But if you took the barrel of your gun away from my back, I might be able to think more clearly..."

Ed let out a relieved sigh as he felt the pressure taken away. He then turned around, and seeing no one, he dropped his eyes downward.

The black haired boy stood a few inches below Ed's shoulder, and upon further inspection, he looked exactly like the long haired boy that was in the picture he was examining in Mustang's house. He was wearing his hair in the same way and was also wearing the same clothes. The only difference was that in his hands, he was holding a very unreal, and very wooden, toy rifle.

"You little- you could have said that the gun wasn't real!" Ed exclaimed.

The child frowned. "I'm seven. What in the world would I have a gun for? And your rank..." he said thoughtfully.

"What about my rank?!" Ed spat. "You have a problem with it?!"

The boy scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, yeah. You see, I'm already playing a Major, but you can be a Second Lieutenant if you want." He looked at something behind Ed and his onyx eyes widened. "Get down, Lieutenant!" he cried sharply.

He quickly grabbed hold of the Fullmetal Alchemist's coat sleeve and Ed let out a soft yelp as he was tugged down behind a couple of toppled barrels that lay in the dusty yard. The strange boy lay down in his stomach with his long hair spilling onto his shoulder and and one eye shut, aiming his gun between the barrels and the tangle of weeds and bushes a couple of yards away. Edward decided to lay down on his stomach also, silently watching the incredibly focused seven-year-old.

"What's your name?" Edward finally asked.

"Lee. But you may address me as Major Lee, The Esteemed Major Lee, or by my nickname, The Shiba Slayer."

"Okay..." Ed sang awkwardly, his eyes looking off to the side. He then looked around, trying to locate the other players of this militaristic game.

"Hey, kid- I mean, Major...are you actually playing with anyone else? Or are you hunting down shadows?"

As if on cue, he saw the little brown haired boy, also from the photograph, pop his head up out of the tall, dried out weeds, only to duck back down again. A rustling was heard as he went back on the move again.

"That's Grant," Lee explained. "He's my little brother."

Ed looked at Lee with surprise. "Really? He looks nothing like you..."

"It would be weird if he did."

Edward glanced over at him, looking for an explanation.

"We're not related," the boy continued. "His last name is Albright. He's adopted. Though I'm not quite sure if he's figured that out yet, so don't tell him." He paused. "Why am, I telling you all this anyway?"

"I don't know," Ed answered honestly.

"Well, just don't tell anybody 'bout it, or I'll have you court marshaled" Lee said warningly. "This is classified information, Lieutenant."

Ed looked forward and a small, smile touched his face as a tiny black dog- a Shiba- trotted in front of them before breaking out into a run, heading toward the chicken coop.

"That's Pippa," Lee explained. "She's my dog."

Ed propped himself up in his side, so he could examine the younger boy. Ed wet his lips before he narrowed his eyes and spoke. "Your father wouldn't happen to be Roy Mustang... would he?"

"Naw," the boy replied, looking over at Ed. "His name is Zihan. Zihan Tim."

Edward let out a sigh of relief.

The dark haired boy blinked. "But...."

He paused.

"...but my mum's last name was Mustang though."


	2. We See a Light

South Ammyr, Eastern Amestris. 1892

 

Lee shifted the way that he was laying on the dirt, finding himself a more comfortable position, "I like your coat by the way," he stated, ignoring or not noticing Edward's wide-eyed stare. "It's very red. I like the color red..." he added.

"Um...thanks. I guess..." Ed muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Welcome," Lee said curtly.

A silence hung in the air and Ed looked the boy up and down. Lee was barefoot with a tear in his left pant leg. He was imaginative. He was playful, but polite. He really wasn't Mustang or Mustang's child after-all.

Both Ed and Lee turned their heads and stood up as the brown haired boy, Grant, ran up to them, followed by the black coated Shiba Inu which trotted dutifully behind him. Lee had instantly recognized the fearful worry in his younger brother's eyes and he realized that their game was over.

"What is it, Grant? What's the matter?" Lee asked quickly.

Grant pointed off into the distance. Ed squinted as he spotted the cloud of gray dust being kicked up by a car which was headed toward the house. It was approaching quickly.

"Aw, shit!" Lee said, pushing Ed back down behind the wall of toppled water barrels.

Grant quickly joined them, watching breathlessly as the car slowed and was parked about a hundred yards away. Lee soundlessly glanced over at Ed and put a finger to his lips. Ed stiffened, sensing genuine fear and worry in those dark eyes of his. Whatever or whoever was coming, it wasn't good.

Ed watched as a well-dressed man with wind-swept raven hair and a stubbly chin stepped out of the vehicle and walked toward the front door of the house. He swung open the front door, without even knocking, and shouted.

"Zihan!" he called in a deep, booming voice. "It's Tuesday and I'm here to collect! Where are the kids by the way?" he asked withy a mischievous lilt in his voice. "I want to see 'em too. It's been a while..."

"Who's that guy?" Ed asked the brothers in a quiet voice.

"Aigou Lin," Lee answered,ms till looking straight ahead. "Our father owes him money."

"A lot of money," Grant chirped.

"That's right," Lee replied. Without looking, he reached one hand over and ruffled his younger brother's hair in mildly distant, but comforting way.

"What does he owe money for?" Ed asked curiously. "Alcohol? I'm seein' an awful lot of bottles in the trash over there..."

"That, the house, the chickens, and smuggling us into the country," Lee said. "We owe Aigou absolutely everything."

"You're an illegal immigrant!?" Ed exclaimed with surprise.

Lee sneered at him. "Got a problem with that?!"

All three of them turned their heads when they heard the crash of glass breaking from inside the house, followed by shouting. Edward jumped slightly when he felt Lee take hold of his flesh hand.

"Come on! Run!" He cried sharply.

Together, all three of them went running off into the barren landscape, kicking up dirt and rocks in their wake. They ran and ran until they came to an overturned cart which had been left to rot there in the sun which was quickly ducking down behind the purple mountains. By the time they stopped, they were all out of breath. Grant hopped up onto the wooden cart and Lee stood, leaning his back against the side. Ed bent at the waist, putting his hand on his thighs. After a while, the collective panting died down, and Ed stood up straight.

Grant rested his chin on the palms of his hands. "Lee and I are gonna get out of here," he stated in a cheeky way, swinging his legs back and forth. "We're gonna leave this place and hold our own and Aigou won't hurt us or father anymore. You see, Lee knows a trick, and he's gonna find a teacher to teach 'im more things like it!"

"It's not a magic trick..." Lee mumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Show 'im, Lee!" Grant said excitedly.

Edward raised an eyebrow, curious as to what the trick could possibly be.

With a stern look on his face, Lee locked eyes with his expectant younger brother. Lee eventually nodded his head. "Alright."

Lee turned to Edward and pointed a finger at him. "Close your eyes," he commanded.

"What?!" Ed cried, "How come?!"

Lee came over, took one of Edward's hands and forced it over his eyes. "Don't look until I tell you to look or you'll regret it," he said firmly.

Edward snickered slightly at the boy's empty threat, but he did as he was told. He heard Lee run over to Grant. There was a wrinkling of paper and then there were some scratching sounds- the sound of dirt, rock, and sand being shifted around.

"What are you doing?" Ed asked.

"Shut up, I'm trying to work; I need concentrate!" Lee hissed.

"Alright, alright..." Ed said with an amused smile.

Two or three minutes passed before Lee spoke again. "You can open your eyes now," he said.

Ed slowly opened his eyes to find Lee standing within a large circle which was etched into the ground, about fourteen feet in diameter.

"A transmutation circle..." Ed said softly with eyes wide.

Lee pocketed the crinkled piece of paper he was holding and tossed the stick that he used to draw the circle off to the side. He then squatted down and carefully placed the palms of his hands upon the ground. He let out a deep breath and shut his eyes tightly with concentration.

"Lee learned it from an old man in town," Grant said suddenly. "Lee's really smart, and Mr. Orwell said that he would teach him some things... but Orwell got real sick and he passed away. He and Lee were really close."

"Oh. I'm sorry for your loss," Ed said politely.

Neither one of the boys responded, but soon Grant continued to speak. "This was the only thing Mr. Orwell was able to teach him. Lee hopes to get better at it..."

Grant's face suddenly lit up. "It's starting!" he said excitedly.

The circle lit up a firey red as Lee slowly stood with his hands still downturned and the bottom of his jacket flapping about in the air. Beneath his palms, spewing out from the ground like a geyser, came red and orange and electric blue sparks which glowed like fireworks and lit up the night, popping and crackling with excitement. Ed noticed that entire time, Lee smiled, looking at Grant's face as if he were the one he wanted to impress. But when Lee finally looked at Ed, and Ed saw those orange sparks lighting up his round face and those dark eyes, he knew for a fact that he had seen that face before, and not only in the photograph he kept in his pocket.

Ed's heart beat faster in his chest as those onyx eyes wandered over to his face.

"Colonel..." Ed whispered softly.

Ed's eyes fluttered open.

He was laying down and his body felt heavy. His back was against something soft and he felt the afternoon sun against his face, though only a second ago, it had been starting to get dark out. The clean smell of anesthetic and a hint of laundry detergent and fabric softener tickled the inside of his nose. Ed let out a quiet breath and found himself looking at that same face- Roy Mustang's face, but it was older. His hair was shorter and he was wearing his usual royal blue military-issued uniform.

Standing beside Edward's hospital bed, Mustang crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I swear, I take my eyes off of you and your brother for one second and something always goes wrong. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with you."

Ed winced slightly and reached up, gingerly touching the bandage wrapped around his head. He then looked around the white walled room which contained only the bed he was laying on, a chair, and a small table upon which was a vase of flowers, a glass of water, and a store bought 'get well' card.

"I'm in a hospital," Ed stated.

"Keen observation, Fullmetal. Alphonse is waiting for you outside by the way- I knew you were going to ask about him."

"What-"

"What happened?" Mustang interrupted, "Well someone apparently broke into my house while you two were cleaning up. Ironically I might say, they knocked your lights out with a lamp stand, and then in retaliation, Alphonse knocked the perp's lights out with a good swing to the head. You were knocked off of the balcony and Al transmuted something to cushion your fall. You took a good hit to the head though."

Mustang then let out a quiet sigh. "But now that you've woken up, I can leave. I just came to make sure you were feeling fine. You are fine, are you not, Fullmetal?"

Ed narrowed his eyes. He looked around the room, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Had it all been a dream?

"Are you alright?" Mustang reiterated in a firmer tone. "You're not about to pass out on me, are you?"

"Mustang?"

"Yes, Ed?"

"Al technically isn't a part of the military, yet you let him follow me around everywhere. How come?" he asked.

Mustang thought to himself for a moment, trying to think of a satisfactory answer.

"If I didn't let him tag along, you'd throw a fit," he concluded, "And besides, someone needs to keep you line."

Ed restrained himself from making a biting retort.

"Is that all, Fullmetal?"

Ed calmed down. "No, I have two more questions. Did you ever know a boy named Grant Albright? And... and do you recognize the name Lee Tim?"

Ed saw Mustang's body stiffen. His lips parted ever so slightly, but he quickly closed them again. Without another word, he walked out of the room.

"Get some rest, Fullmetal," Ed heard him say quickly once he was out of the hall.

Ed listened quietly as the Colonel's footfalls grow softer and softer as he walked away. Overcome by a strange spinning sensation, Ed then lay back down into the pillows and quickly found his eyelids growing heavier and heavier.   
He pulled them up again. He blinked.

And he found himself standing up.

It was nighttime, and once again, he was outside- outside of Lee's... no, Roy's... house.

"Ed!" Grant suddenly called out, running toward him with a panicked look on his face.

Ed was back there again. But how?!

He pushed the questions he had away, saving them for later. "What is it, Grant?" he asked the out of breath boy.

"It's Lee!" Grant panted. "He's- he's sick, and he fell down! He's not waking up!"

Pursing his lips, Ed's heart twisted in his chest. "Take me to him," he said quickly.

Ed followed Grant around the side of the house, and laying there on his stomach on the dark and shadowy ground was a boy with long black hair.

Roy.

Ed quickly ran to him and dropped down to his knees so he could turn the boy over on his back. Ed put the back of his hand beneath Roy's nose.

His heart skipped a beat.

He felt nothing.

"Shit! He isn't breathing!" Ed exclaimed, taking hold of Roy's shoulders. Ed shook him roughly. "Hey! Hey kid, open your eyes! Breathe dammit!"

Ed quickly put a hand on Roy's forehead and withdrew it quickly. Roy was burning up.

This was the past. Ed had fallen asleep and traveled into the past. He didn't know how or why it happened, but it did. And what if Roy died? What would happen then?!


	3. A Miracle

South Ammyr, Eastern Amestris. 1892 

 

"Don't make me have to give you mouth-to-mouth, Mustang!" Ed said, shaking Roy harder. "Snap out of it!"

"His lips are starting to turn blue!" Grant exclaimed with panic evident on in his voice.

Overwhelmed, Edward put his hands to his head."Okay- okay, I'm gonna have to try to resuscitate him, " he stated quickly, positioning himself next to the boy's neck and shoulders.

Ed quickly tilted back Roy's burning chin slightly and pinched his nose. He shuddered slightly before taking a deep breath and leaning down, about to cover Roy's mouth with his own. Just before their lips touched, a cough escaped from Roy's lips, followed by one loud gasp for much needed air, followed by another. Ed tiredly sat back in his heels and both he and Grant let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness..." Grant said, putting a hand to his chest and looking down at his still unconscious older brother.

Ed shook his head. "I was going to be able to tell everyone in the office that Roy... er, I mean Lee, shared his first kiss with a guy."

Grant didn't seem to catch his slip-up.

"Lee's kissed lots of girls before," he said happily, "So it really wouldn't be his first kiss..."

Ed had to chuckled a little bit. "Wow, so the womanizer got his start when he was young! Anyway, what should we do now? Is your father home?"

Grant shook his head. " No, just bring him into his bedroom. I'll show you where it is."

Ed gently put one hand against Roy's lower back and slipped an arm beneath his knees. He lifted Roy up, and to his surprise, he did so without any effort at all. Roy was much lighter that he should have been for a child his age. And he was thin too- Ed could feel his ribs through the sweat soaked fabric of his shirt.

Grant led Ed into the farmhouse and brought Ed into the candle lit room that he and his brother shared. Roy was breathing a bit more normally and Ed gently placed his sleeping form on top of the bed in the corner. As he did so, Ed could still feel the heat coming off of the boy- his temperature was high. Dangerously high.

"Grant, go get cold water and a wet cloth. I'll stay here and make sure he doesn't stop breathing again," Ed said.

Grant curtly nodded his head and left the room. Ed quietly sat himself down on the edge of the mattress just as the dark haired boy mumbled to himself, his eyes fluttering open.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Ed said sarcastically, but there was a hint of sweetness in his tone. "You gave us a bit of a scare there..."

In the dim light, Edward saw the boy's chest tremble. His golden eyes narrowed.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked with concern. 

He saw beads of tears swell at the corners of the boy's eyes, and he watched as one fell, leaving a wet track down Roy's left cheek.

Roy was crying. The act was just so... so unnatural that it almost made Edward feel sick to his stomach. Ed quickly put a hand on Roy's arm. 

"Hey! What's wrong?! Are you hurt?!"

"I..." Roy said softly. He paused before speaking again. "I'm- I'm afraid. I..." In the dim light, Roy shook his head and bit his lower lips. "I don't wanna die..." he whimpered softly.

Ed smiled softly.

"Aw, stop being such sissy..." he replied, patting Roy's hand with his automail one. "It's the fever talking. You're not going to die."

"It's not that..." Roy whispered, his voice hoarse.

Ed's face softened. "What's scaring you?" he asked gently. He used to use that same tone of voice whenever Alphonse awoke from particularly bad nightmare and needed to talk things through.

"I'm... I'm afraid that my father's gonna kill me."

Edward blinked. His own father was... well his father. He absent, but not once did Edward ever think that the man could hurt him, nevermind end his life.

"Why... why would you think something like that?" he asked quietly.

Roy quiet. He hesitantly reached down and lifted up the bottom of his shirt. Ed took in a sharp breath when he caught sight of the boy's pale skin, mottled by with dark bruises that were a multitude of hues, but all colors which should not normally be on someone's skin. Some were green- they were healing- but on top of that were new ones which were a nauseating black, blue, and purple. They were all over- they ran across his stomach and chest, and if Roy turned over, he would find that they then wrapped around his upper and lower back.

"Your father did that?" Ed asked breathlessly. Looking it made him nauseated- he wanted to vomit.

"I... I was already sick... and my dad hit me hard- he left me passed out outside. He- he d-did m-m-much worse to Grant last- last week...though," Roy stammered, pulling his shirt back down. Roy turned his head to the side, hiding his face from Ed's view, but Ed could still see the young boy's trembling hands clench into fists, gripping the bed sheets. "When I get older..." Roy growled, his voice breaking. "I swear, I'm gonna get that goddamn son of a bitch out of my life!"

At first, Ed was surprised Roy's outburst, but his face eventually softened with understanding. "Yeah. I get that, but..." Ed felt heat rise up inside of him. "But what the fuck are you still doing here with this man? If he isn't treating you right, then just leave!"

"I can't. I can't run away," Roy said, shaking his head, but still looking away.

"Why not?! You too scared?!"

"Use your head, Ed!" Roy suddenly cried, turning his body over and sitting up slightly. "I've got Grant to worry about! What if something happens to me?! He can't take care of himself! Look at me- I can barely take care of myself!" 

He paused and let out a ragged breath. He spoke in a softer voice. "And besides...he may not look like it, but Grant gets sick very easily. That's why he came to live with us in the first place- there was a disease going around and his folks died. Grant can't keep going without the medicine we get from our father, which he gets from the man we're in debt to- Aigou Lin. All I can do is lay here... and wait for a miracle."

As soon as Roy spoke those words, the scene changed. Edward heard voice again, this time, desperate, panicked, and raw.

"LET GO OF ME, YOU BASTARD! MY FAMILY'S IN THERE! LET ME GO! Oh god, LET ME GO!"

Red.

Ed saw red as he heard a young child's anguished cry. It was Roy's. Ed didn't want to believe it, but it was true. The sheer agony in that bloodcurdling wail made Ed's blood run cold, and the scream wasn't over quickly- it dragged on and on like the pain that was caused by it. It was nothing less than sickening.

It was dark outside, but the burnt red and orange flames which engulfed the place where Roy's house stood lit up the night and the sharp, weathered faces of the the small group of men who stood outside, one of which grabbed Roy hair roughly and wrenched him backward, sending him tumbling down onto the dusty ground and tearing out a clump of hair in the process.

Rolling over and trying to sit up on his knees, the boy's entire body shook like a leaf in the wind. His right arm hung limply at his side- it was dislocated.

Roy let out a sharp agonized cry as Aigou pulled him up by his limp arm before taking him by the neck and lifting him up off of the ground. Roy clawed at the hands which wrapped around his throat as hot tears caressed his deathly pale cheeks.

"Grant..." he wheezed. "L-l-let g-g-go of me, you- you bastard, my brother is in there...my.."

The trembling boy looked at Ed pleadingly, but a second later, his eyes rolled back and Ed's golden eyes grew wide as his body grew slack. Aigou let him fall to his feet.

The boy was unconscious- him couldn't hear him, but Ed still shouted to him.

"You wait right there, Roy, I'll get him out!" Ed said as he ran toward the house, not correcting his confusion of names, as without a second thought, he used his shoulder to push through the burning front door which hung crookedly on its hinges.

Ed's eyes stung with smoke as he entered the raging inferno. He had felt heat like that when he had stood next to his own burning house, but he hadn't gotten close enough to the flames to feel it so intensely. The flickering tongues singed his skin and heated his metal limbs and for a moment, he stopped, feeling panic and smoke build up in his chest, but ignoring that he squinted his eyes and looked around at the burning house, trying to make out Grant's form.

He coughed roughly into his arm before calling the boy's name the sound grating at his throat like broken glass. 

"Grant! GRANT, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

He came upon the doorway to the kitchen, and in the back of the room, he spotted a boy laying face down, deathly still as the flames danced around his body. A splintering crack was heard as the ceiling of the room behind Ed came tumbling down, sending a spray of red hot sparks. Covering his eyes, Ed cowered and stumbled forward into the kitchen. He lifted his head and he could barely see anything other than red and orange, charred black, and the veil of heavy gray smoke that hung in the air.

Eyes tearing up, Edward coughed into the crook of his arm once more before calling out to Grant again. Through the smoke he could see Grant slowly turn his head to the side and a groan was heard as the charred support beam at the side of the room came crashing down, along with the entirety of the roof, and the world became black.

There was no color. There was no sound, there was no sight, there was no feeling.

Though his eyes didn't open, cry erupted from Ed's throat, piercing through the night air.

"GRANT!?"

"Shh..." a suit of armor hushed softly, putting a hand on his elder brother's forearm. "Shh..."

Alphonse, who was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, watched as his elder brother whimpered and tossed about beneath his bed covers. "It's alright, Brother. I'm here. It's only a dream. It's only a dream..."


	4. Look at Me

Township of South Ammyr, Eastern Amestris. 1892 

 

It was morning, but the sun had decided to sleep in. The sky instead was polluted by dark storm clouds, and for hours their icy cold tears thudded upon the cobblestone streets and wooden roofs of the houses lining them. Now, at approximately eight o'clock, it was slowing to a light and hushed drizzle.

Edward ran down through the streets of South Ammyr, his clunky black boots splashing through puddles as he looked all around, searching for the grief stricken Xinganese boy who had taken off running after Aigou and his men had left him beaten and broken in front of his destroyed family home.

At first, Ed hadn't run after him.

It had begun to pour, and Ed had gone inside and carried Grant's remains out of the house. He couldn't do the same for the boy's adoptive father, Zihan, even if he wanted to. There was just none of him left. After burying the practically unidentifiable five year old, Ed rushed off into the nearby town that Roy had gone to.

An hour had gone by. And then another.

Ed had begun asking around, going door to door in the rain, inquiring about the boy's whereabouts. Roy, or Lee rather, wasn't well known, however, his father was an infamous drunk. The man apparently took a turn for the worse after his young wife, Liliana, and their unborn child, had died suddenly two years previously.

Ed had talked to several families, people on the street who had decided to brave the unpleasant weather, and a few shop owners, and none of them had seen any sign of the boy.

"Lee?!" Edward shouted, walking down the empty sidewalk and cupping his hands over his mouth. "Lee, where are you?!"

Edward took a few steps before he paused in front of an alleyway when he heard a soft, wet, crackling noise. It was a cough- something strangled and forced that made Edward's heart twist in his chest.

Roy's small form lay on its side on the cold ground, and Ed watched as his body twitched violently. Beside his head was vomit, along with two or three empty pill bottles that lay discarded.

Roy was paralyzed.

He couldn't move- he had no control over the tremors which assaulted his body.

His eyes were wide open, being stung by his own tears, although that didn't make his vision blurry. He couldn't see anything at all- he might as well have been blind. A racking sound escaped from his throat as he choked, struggling with everything he had to breathe one more time. A stabbing pain shot through his abdomen, making his vision go white as his body seized, and his back arched like a bow on the floor and his glazed eyes opened wide with shock before his legs and shoulders curled forward again, gasping for air once more.

Ed ran forward and quickly crouched down next to Roy as his body convulsed once more and then lay still again. Ed reached out and worriedly ran a hand over Roy's soaking wet hair and forehead which was beaded with sweat.

"Roy?!" he cried. "Roy, what happened?! Talk to me!"

Unable to speak, hear, or see, only a sickening gurgling sound came from Roy's throat. Roy looked so scared. Ed had never seen him so scared before.

Ed looked down and finally spotted one of the empty pill bottles which lay on the ground. "Oh fucking hell! Tell me you didn't do what I think you did!" he shouted, taking hold of Roy's shirt.

Where did he even get them?! He didn't have a house or even money for the matter- he'd probably stolen them.

Ed let out a shaky breath an carded a trembling hand through his hair. Roy's already pasty white skin was now tinged a sickly blue.

Aw shit, what to do, what should he do?! Should he make him throw up the pills? No, he might choke on his own vomit, hell, that was happening already! Ed quickly picked up one of the empty pill bottles and read the label.

"Ambien. (Zolpidem)." He put down the bottle and picked up another. "Ativan. (Lorazepam)." He let it fall to the ground and put his hands back to his head. "Sleeping pills. You combined them; you know better than that!" he said, hurriedly scooping the boy up into his arms. "We're gonna find you help- you're gonna be okay, I promise!"

With Roy unconscious in his arms, Ed went to the nearest house with a light on and banged his fist on the door. A few seconds later, a young blonde haired woman answered it, and when she saw the limp, drenched child in Ed's arms, her eyes widened with surprise.

"Help him..." Ed said pleaded. "He's gonna die."

The woman let out a soft gasp. "Oh my! Is that Lee? Zihan's boy?"

"Please, he needs a doctor- he can't breathe."

"Come in. Lay him down on the couch," the woman said before rushing to the phone.

Edward stepped inside the house and walked across the living room. He did as he was told and set the boy down on the worn sofa before he sat down next to him. Just as he did, the woman came back into the room.

"A local doctor will be here in two minutes," she stated quickly.

"Ma'am, do you know if he has any family that he can stay with if he makes it through this?"

"Where's Zihan?" she asked, confused. "And Grant?"

"Dead," Ed said bluntly. "You didn't answer my question."

The woman blinked her eyes quickly, surprised by Edward's answer. But she collected herself with surprising speed.

"Oh, well, um... I think he has an aunt?" she said thoughtfully. "Yes... he has an aunt. In Central City."

"Make sure he gets there."

That was the last thing Ed has said before he woke up in bed in the military dorms at Central.

He sat there by himself in the dark for a long while with nothing to do but contemplate previous events. Eventually Al came into the room and sat beside his elder brother on the edge of the bed, the weight of the suit of armor causing the mattress to sag. Al asked Ed what was troubling him, and Ed told him the truth.

He told him everything.

"I... I don't know if I can look at Roy the same way," Ed finally said quietly, holding his head in his hands.

"He said that his name was Lee, right?" Al stated. "And you never mentioned the name Roy to him. What if he wasn't the Colonel at all?"

"I got someone to do me a favor after I had that dream about the fire," Ed replied. "Private Harborough was able to get me some things from Mustang's files. There wasn't much at all, but it said he really is from South Ammyr- the place that I... that I visited... and fit the description. His mother's maiden name was Mustang and it's no stretch to believe that Mustang would change his last name if given the opportunity. It's him, Al. He tried to commit suicide- he tried to kill himself. Mustang wouldn't do something like that."

A silence fell upon their shoulders.

"If I lost you, Ed... I'd probably want to do the same thing," Alphonse finally said.

Edward's eyes widened.

"Al..."

"I know, but it's true. Everyone is affected by loss and grief, Ed. It can take a toll on even the strongest of people, even people like the Colonel. And about not being able to look at him the same way... well you shouldn't look at him the same way. Roy, or Lee rather, from your dreams is not the same Roy we know now. But Lee is a part of him. And what Lee did and didn't do made him into the person we know. Treat the Roy we know now the same."

He paused, trying to formulate sentences.

"I know it's very different..." he continued, "but after I lost my body, people started treating me differently- they didn't treat me like I was a kid anymore. But you treated me the same and that's always made me feel better about myself. So treat the Colonel the same too. Anyway, besides that, this whole ordeal might be a good thing."

"Huh?"

"You might get to understand him better."

"Oh, I don't wanna understand him better!" Ed exclaimed. "I'm seeing things that I don't want to see! Why is this even happening to me in the first place?!"

"I don't know, Brother. Let's just hope that whatever reason it is, it's a good one. Keep on looking out for him and you'll be fine- I know it."

"I won't leave it at that- this can't be happening for no reason. I don't want to accept that I'm seeing a past that I should have absolutely no knowledge about- it didn't feel like a dream, Al. It felt real. I felt the rain after the fire. I remember carrying Grant's body, I remember how his... how his charred body smelled, and remember the feeling of holding the shovel that I used to bury him."

"You think that you were really there."

"Yes, because I was! But... but I want proof. That's how science works. I believe something to be true and now I need to prove it so it can be a universally accepted fact."

"Why not ask not the Colonel?" Alphonse questioned. "He would remember you, wouldn't he?"

Ed glared at his younger brother. Alphonse held up his hands defensively.

"Okay, well if you don't want to ask him, maybe you can find proof some other way. Did you leave a marker at Grant's grave?"

"Sure I did," Ed replied quietly. "Didn't feel right not to..."

"And what did you make it out of?"

"I uh, I transmuted something out of stone I found."

"Well if you really did leave a marker there, and it's made of stone, it should still be there, shouldn't it?"

Bright and early in the next morning, Edward burst into Mustang's office, the wooden doors slamming against the walls.

"Hey! Colonel Bastard!" he greeted with wide grin. "I need to talk to you!"

Roy, who was sitting at his desk, set his pen down, and narrowing his eyes, he grit his back teeth. "What do you want now, Fullmetal?"

"Al and I still have vacation days to use, isn't that right?"

"Yes, that's right..." Mustang said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, I'm here to collect! Al and I are leaving town for a while!" he announced jovially, stopping in front of Mustang's desk.

"Where are you going?" Mustang asked. "Resembool?"

"Ever heard of a town called South Ammyr?"

With a small, secretive smirk on his face, Mustang lowered his head and went back to signing papers. "I have to say... that's quite a strange vacation destination, Fullmetal."

Edward put his hands on his hips. "Why do you say that? Ya been there before, old man?"

Mustang paused and the ballpoint tip of his pen stayed frozen upon the paper as if time itself had stopped. Cold and unblinking onyx eyes slowly lifted and met gold, ripping the breath out of Edward's throat and making him feel weak in the knees. A shiver traveled down Ed's back as Mustang let out a quiet breath.

"Are you alright, Fullmetal?" a smooth baritone voice questioned.

Edward calmly wet his lips before speaking.

"Yes," he said hoarsely. "Yes, I'm fine."

"No," Mustang said quietly, lowering his eyes again. "...I've never visited there before. I hope you have a pleasant trip."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you pronounce Ammyr? I made it up of course, and I pronounce it "Uh- mear", but I realize that you can pronounce it any number of ways: Ah-mear, Ah-mur, Uh-my-er...
> 
> -If you don't already know, I wrote this story months and months ago, but now I'm proofreading it, adding some stuff, and republishing it again... And there were so many spelling mistakes. So many... Why...


	5. Formal Introductions

Antalya, Eastern Amestris. 1904

 

That odd feeling that Edward had felt when Mustang's eyes met his in the office two days ago followed Edward as he and Alphonse boarded a train that swiftly cut through Central's boarders, leaving the city in the dust. The sun was soon buried beneath the cover of the horizon and laid its head down to rest upon the pillows of distant mountains.

Edward was ready to sleep too, and he allowed his head to rest against the gently vibrating train car window in the cabin that he and his brother shared. His molten gold eyes grew heavy, his thoughts grew foggy and disorganized, and he quickly found his eyelids sliding closed.

But as soon as they did, Edward found himself opening his eyes again, his body now filled with a sort of renewed energy.

But he wasn't on the train anymore.

The air was cool and crisp, characteristic of a cloudless late summer night. The ground beneath Ed vibrated and he found that he was sitting in the back of a pickup truck and his feet dangled off of the edge. He watched with childlike curiosity as the dusty ground beneath him whizzed by.

After a while, he looked behind him, and sure enough, there was a younger Roy sitting with his eyes cast in the opposite direction. He was older than his seven year old self, but younger than the one that Ed knew in the present. He looked to be between seventeen and nineteen years old- about the age that Edward was now. He no longer had long hair, and he was wearing a pair of plain brown slacks, a white collared shirt, and a dark green waistcoat.

Edward silently looked out over the barren landscape, taking in the night sky painted in shades of deep purple, dark blue, and indigo, speckled with stars that glittered like diamonds.

"Nights like this always remind me of Resembool," Ed finally stated. "You should appreciate it while you can."

It was only when Roy turned to him and his dark eyes widened that Edward realized that he had spoken aloud.

"I haven't seen you in... well, years," Roy stated breathlessly with the shadow of a smile on his face. "You know, I was beginning to think that you were a figment of my imagination. I thought that I was getting a bit old to have an imaginary friend."

Edward forced a smile upon his face, trying to conceal the sort... the sort of pity he now held for the you man.

"Is that so..." he hummed. Above it all, it made him slightly pleased that Roy had used the word 'friend' to describe him.

"You disappear from my mind," Roy stated calmly, "but every time you show up again, it all comes back to me."

Roy went silent for a moment. Leaning forward, he looked at Ed with curiosity in his eyes. He wet his lips before speaking. "Are you a ghost, Edward Elric?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Ed swung his legs up over the back of the truck and turned so he could face Roy. He thought for a moment.

Perhaps it was best to tell the truth. And if what Roy said was right, the dark haired young man would probably forget their conversation later.

"You could say that," Ed eventually replied. "I'm from the future. Your future specifically. Whenever I close my eyes, I find myself here with you. Right now, I'm supposed to be on a train, traveling from Central to Rush Valley, and from there it's supposed to go east to Ammyr... but here I am. You know, in the future, you work in Central City, and you're my commanding officer. If we're in the same room, we usually end up fighting, but when I'm with past you..." Ed paused and shrugged his shoulders. "Well that doesn't seem to be the case. I might go as far as to say that you're tolerable. Perhaps you become the bastard you are further down the line. And..." Ed froze and with a small, apologetic smile, he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Roy said nothing in response.

Edward narrowed his eyes, studying him. "Do you believe me?" he asked.

Roy calmly looked down, pondered over Edward's question, and then lifted his head again.

"The only two possibilities are that you really are a ghost... or I'm losing my mind. I'd prefer that the answer is the former."

"Yeah," Ed said, crossing his legs. "Anyway, whatcha been up to while I was gone?"

Roy shrugged. "I lived with my aunt for a while and then spent a few years learning alchemy with a teacher. I enlisted in the military and I'm being shipped off to the academy right now."

Ed silently looked him up and down. "How old are you?" he asked curiously.

"I'll be nineteen in two weeks."

"And... and how are you feeling?"

Roy let out a soft sigh and looked away sheepishly. "Well, I... it feels like there's something wriggling around in the pit of my stomach, ya know? I feel sick." He looked up at Ed and smiled a small, crooked smile. "I'm scared out of my wits," he admitted.

"Understandable, but don't go around telling people that," Ed stated with a smirk. "They'll think that you're a sissy."

"Don't worry. I won't. I'm also a bit hopeful too," Roy said. "I'll be making a difference and things are going to change. Maybe for the better. You've seen the future- will things change for the better?" phew asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Ed's countenance grew solemn.

"What is it?" Roy asked, noticing Ed's sudden change in demeanor.

"I... I knew a man named Maes Hughes," Ed said hesitantly, looking away, avoiding Roy's eyes. "He fought with you in the civil war in Ishval. And according to him... you're going to go to hell and back."

"But I'm coming back," Roy said. "That's all that matters."

Ed looked back at him. "No, it's not," he said firmly. "I don't think you understand. He said that you went to hell and back, and then I said that I understood the feeling. And still, knowing about all of the crap that I've been through in my life... he said that I didn't understand what hell was. It... it was one of the more chilling things that anyone has ever said to me..." he admitted.

Roy looked down at his hands folded in his lap. Ed's statement obviously had made him more than a bit uncomfortable and Ed realized that he needed to change the subject.

"You know, I'm a part of the military too!" he stated with a playful smile. "Remember when we first me, and I said that I was a major?"

Roy shook his head. "No, I don't remember that..."

"Well I did, and I wasn't lying. I'm a State Alchemist!"

Roy blinked with surprise. "You're pulling my leg- you've gotta be..."

"I kid you not! Not to brag or anything, but... I'm actually the youngest State Alchemist in history, Lee."

Roy whistled softly. A secretive smile then spread across his face.

"What's so funny?" Ed questioned.

"No one has called me by my given name in a long time. I go by 'Roy' now. Roy Mustang," he said, extending a hand.

Ed hesitantly reached out and shook it firmly. "Edward Elric. The Fullmetal Alchemist."

The air whipped around them and the truck grew smaller and smaller as it headed off into the distance.

"Nice to meet you, Fullmetal."

"Nice to meet you too... Mustang."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHG, THE CHEESINESS IS REAL...
> 
> Roy Mustang is the fictional love of my life. I would say that Castiel from Supernatural is the fictional love of my life, but he's over the age of 40, so the age gap is too big. But Roy's forever 29, and I'm 19, so there's only a ten year age difference.
> 
> I still have a chance with him...


	6. A Gangling Little Thing

Truman, Southern Amestris. 1902

 

Ed was standing inside of a house, in a hallway to be more exact, a hallway with old wooden floors and eggshell colored walls.

There was young girl standing next to him with their back pressed against the wall. She was wearing a simple, white, knee- length dress and saddle shoes. Her eyes was brown and her blonde hair was short. She looked like she was no more than fifteen or sixteen years old.

Edward's jaw dropped.

"Riza?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the saucer and tea cup she held in her hands. 

Ed peeked his head through the nearby doorway and saw a young Mustang sitting at a desk with his back toward them. The walls of the room were lined with bookshelves and the top of the desk itself was covered in papers, which Mustang had laid his head upon. A quiet snore escaped his throat.

Ed didn't know that Mustang and Hawkeye had known each other for so long! And Riza? She looked so young! Well, she still looked young, but not that young!

Ed paused and waved a hand in front of Riza's face. She didn't respond.

"You can't see or hear me, huh?" he concluded. "That's strange..."

Riza peeked her head around the doorway, but she quickly hid again, biting her bottom lip and looking down at her shoes.

"Go on," Ed said encouragingly, "Get in there! Wake him up! Knowing him, he's probably been asleep for hours already..."

A minute later, Roy woke up to find something tickling his shoulder, which he absentmindedly swatted away. He felt it again. Someone was tapping him on the shoulder, trying to get his attention.

"I brought you tea, Sir, unless you'd prefer coffee," a small voice said.

Roy lifted his head and turned around in his chair so he could face the girl.

"Sir?" he repeated, raising one eyebrow. He let out a loud yawn before speaking again. "We look like we're about the same age. I'm sixteen. How old are you?"

"Fif-fifteen. Sixteen in two months," she said, setting the tea cup and the saucer down on the table. She clasped her hands together and began to chew on her lips again.

"You're going to bite your lips off at that rate..." Roy stated, looking her up and down.

Riza froze and let go of her chapped lips. She said nothing.

"What? Your father doesn't give you enough to eat?" Roy questioned.

"Oh, n-no, he does..." she replied softly.

"But he scares you," Roy guessed.

Riza bit her bottom lip and quickly shook her head. Roy narrowed his eyes. "He makes you nervous then?"

She shook her head again.

"Do I make you nervous?"

Riza stiffened. Roy had obviously hit a soft spot.

"Excuse me- I need to go," she said quickly. She spun on her heels and walked back across the room, disappearing around the corner and pressing her back against the wall.

Riza and Ed both heard Roy chuckle lightly to himself in the other room. Roy then took the saucer in one hand and small, soft smile touched his lips as he dropped a sugar cube into the steaming liquid and used the spoon to stir it around as his thoughts went elsewhere.

Edward turned to Riza with a look of disapproval as he saw the slight rosiness spread across her cheeks. "You're crushing on 'im, aren't you, Riza? Aw, hell no, you can do so much better than a bastard like that!"

For Edward, days then passed in the span of minutes. Riza served Roy tea many times after that. Eventually she would come up to him and ask what he was studying at the moment. Then she got into the habit of dragging him away to solve crossword puzzles with her or play games of chess. Sooner or later, they started talking to one another using Morse code at the kitchen table when they ate dinner with Riza's father, and Roy's alchemy teacher, Berthold. Then they started talking to each other all the time.

And every time they found themselves around each other, they stole glances of one another.

Curious glances. Interested glances. Glances filled with admiration and wonder and joy and, oh, Ed didn't know what was holding them back from telling each other how they really felt.

Their procrastination was getting on his nerves. Or at least, that's what he told himself.

One day, Riza was on her way to bring Roy his morning cup of tea when she was stopped by her father in the hall. He had disheveled shoulder-length hair and always wore a frown on his face. His eyes always sent a shiver down Ed's spine.

The man made him uncomfortable.

He made Riza come into a bedroom which Ed noticed had a table with a syringe laying atop of it.

"Riza, set the cup down for a minute," Berthold said.

Riza did as she was told and set the cup and saucer on the table.

"Come here, Darling. I'm going to give you an injection. So you grow strong and healthy. You want to be healthy don't you?"

She wasn't afraid of her father per say... she just knew that whenever he made a threat, it wasn't empty. She'd been disciplined enough times before. 

Riza nodded her head.

"Use your words," he said coolly.

"Yes, Sir."

Her father had her sit down on the bed and roll up her left sleeve. He cleaned the area using a cotton ball damp with rubbing alcohol and then did just as he promised. He flicked the syringe with his fingers once or twice before inserting the needle into her arm without warning. Riza tensed up and bit her lip slightly, but she made no sound. Edward cringed for her.

It was over in seconds.

"Good, girl," Berthold said. "You are dismissed."

Riza silently stood from her chair, and clasping her hands together, she bowed slightly at waist before hurrying out of the room without the tea. Ed closed the door behind her and put his hands in his pockets as he went past her, leading her down the hall. He whistled slightly.

"Wow. He's a bit of a creep, ain't he, Hawkeye?"

Riza didn't reply. Edward suddenly heard two loud thuds behind him and he quickly whipped his head around.

"Hawkeye?!"

Riza lay sprawled out on the floor. She had hit her head on the side table on the way down, and a small pool of blood was beginning to grow around her head of blonde hair.

"Hawkeye?!"

Ed watched in shock as Berthhold calmly walked through the door and went toward his daughter like he had all the time in the world. He crouched down and then stood, picking up her limp form without any effort at all. Ed followed as he carried her into the bedroom. From the doorway, Ed watched him lay her down on the bed on her back. He carefully pulled the sleeves of her shirt over her arms and slowly pulled the the hem of the shirt upward.

Ed felt sick to his stomach. Hawkeye had hurt her head- not her abdomen or her chest.

He was undressing her.

"What the hell, are you doing to her?" Edward asked softly with concern and fear lacing his words.p

He pulled her shirt up over her head and put it to the side before he approached Edward. He was going to close the door.

"What are you doing to her?!" Edward shouted fanatically.

The door thudded closed and a faint click was heard as it was locked.


	7. Adventures in New Optain

New Optain, Amestris. 1905

 

 

The door thudded closed and a faint click was heard as it was locked. As soon as the quiet sound resonated through the air, Edward turned his head to the right and looked down the hall as the scene before him morphed. The hallway twisted and stretched and widened- it was all very dizzying to watch. Floor to ceiling windows sprouted on the left side of the hall. The wooden floors changed.

The world stilled.

Chatter was heard. Young men in uniform, wearing dark green pants, boots, white collared shirts, and black ties casually walked side by side down the corridor of the military academy, some with notebooks or books in hand.

Edward blinked his eyes with confusion and his eyes then widened as Roy walked past him in the same uniform as everyone else. He had his nose in a book, and he paid no mind as Edward hurriedly jogged up to his side. Only a quick glance over the top of the leather-bound volume told Edward that Roy had realized his presence.

Roy and Ed exited the building and stepped out into the early afternoon sunlight. Roy almost immediately stopped and looked up from his book when he saw a group of about five or six men walking into an alleyway a few feet away. The last two to disappear behind the wall were a silvery-haired Ishvalan man and a dark haired Amestrian who had a small condescending smirk on his face.

Ed saw Roy blink his eyes.

"You think they're up to something suspicious," Ed stated, looking at Mustang's calm face.

Again, Roy ignored him. Despite this, Edward followed him into the entrance of the alleyway.

"You sure think pretty highly of yourself, don't you?" they heard one of the soldiers in training say.

The Ishvalan recruit was down on his knees. The other recruits were standing in a circle around him

"Yeah! Really!" said another.

"And what makes you think you belong here with us?" another questioned.

Ed's eyebrows lifted with surprise as he heard Roy growl . "ENOUGH!" he snapped. Everyone turned their head as he approached.

"Who the hell is this guy?" a blonde haired man asked mockingly.

"I know him," the person across from him commented. "Roy Mustang. He's a year below us."

"There's no point to this," Roy said loudly to them. "Just think about it! Ishval is a part of Amestris now, so he's a citizen, understand?! He has the exact same rights as everyone else in this-"

"You left out their inferiority," the blond recruit interrupted. "That's why they got taken over!"

Roy narrowed his eyes. He walked past the others and crouched down, putting a hand on the Ishvalan's shoulder. The Ishvalan had stayed calm throughout the entire ordeal, but he now looked at Roy with ruby eyes wide. He was studying Roy, trying to predict his next move.

"Don't... don't accept this," Roy said down to him. It wasn't an order to be exact, it was more of a plea.

"You're gonna smell like an Ishvalan now!" one of the other soldiers chuckled.

"Dude, he stinks!" said another, pinching their nose and waving a hand in front of their face.

Everyone laughed and Ed watched as Roy suddenly stood and quickly grabbed the blond's shirt in his fist. A crack was heard as Roy struck him in the jaw, sending him tumbling down to the ground.

A brown haired man came after Roy with a fiery look in his dark eyes and grabbed his shirt. "BASTARD! You don't even touch an upperclassman!"

Roy grunted as he took a hit. He stumbled back a few feet, but he maintained his footing and kneed the man in the stomach when he came in for another attack. Another recruit came at him from the side, and soon, another came to his aid. All the while, the Ishvalan stared with crimson eyes wide.

Just as Roy prepared himself to take another blow, he heard someone shout from the entrance of the alleyway.

"ALRIGHT, MUSTANG! BACK DOWN!"

Everyone, including Ed, turned their head and looked at the spectacled man threateningly pointing a handgun at them. Edward's eyes widened upon recognizing the familiar face.

"Hughes?" he said breathlessly.

Hughes didn't hear or see him. He continued to keep his eyes and the barrel of his gun trained on the people before him.

"Eh... what's with the gun, Hughes?" one man on the ground asked shakily.

"I'd like the seniors to keep quiet please," Maes said steadily, still aiming his gun. "I'd prefer to handle this on my own."

There was an uneasy silence.

"Alright, Mustang," Maes said firmly. "You and the Ishvalan step this way."

Hesitantly, the Ishvalan stood, and both he and Roy did as they were told. Maes's gun followed their path as they came to a stop beside him.

Maes's narrowed hazel eyes stared down Roy and neither man blinked.

One corner of Maes's mouth finally turned upward into a smirk. "Hm." He turned and pointed the gun at the men who had been bullying the Ishvalan earlier. They all let out a collective gasp of surprise.

"Whoa, what are you doing Hughes?! We're your friends!"

"You think so?" Maes said coolly, anger evident in his voice. "You think that I'm friends with cruel bullies?!"

Maes's brow suddenly furrowed. "I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!"

Maes calmed himself and looked at Roy again with a smirk. "The object is victory," he said softly.

Roy blinked his dark eyes and smiled back with amusement. "Focus on it."

Hughes stowed away the gun and Edward was taken aback as both he and Roy shouted, suddenly running toward the group of men, kicking and punching and shouting as Ed and the Ishvalan stared, wide-eyed on the sidelines.

Night literally fell in the blink of an eye. It took a while for Edward to adjust to how serene and quiet the atmosphere was in comparison to the chaotic last.

Ed was walking alongside Mustang as he made his way down the dark corridor of the military dorms. Finding himself unable to sleep, Mustang had left his bunk and walked around the academy grounds for a while, as he usually did whenever he had a bout with insomnia. Now, about an hour later, he was headed back to bed.

Someone was waiting for him though.

It happened just as Roy turned around a corner. Ed watched as Roy tensed up, feeling hands wrap themselves firmly around his left and then right wrist.

"Maes, wha-"

Roy was cut off.

Maes pushed him back and Roy let out a quiet gasp.

He had been caught off guard.

He stiffened as he felt his lower back make contact with the wall, the impact reverberating down his spine and ending in a surprised tingle. After the sensation passed, he relaxed and made no attempt to struggle as the hazel eyed brunette pinned his wrists against the cool wall on either side of his head.

"Hughes!" Ed cried in a panicked voice. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he shouted from the sidelines.

Hughes' face was so close to Roy's, and their hips? Well they were practically  
touching. Ed didn't know what was going on, but there was definitely something... surprisingly intimate about this situation.

For a moment, Roy had forgotten how to breathe. Without a word, he swallowed back the lump in his throat that was blocking his airways and he subconsciously wet his chapped lips.

"We're doing this now?" Roy asked softly.

Maes didn't answer.

Those soft lips lingered there inches away from his own, and the bitter, fruity smell of alcohol on Maes's warm breath which brushed his skin, combined with the quickened beat of his heart in his chest, made Roy slightly dizzy. They stood there in the dark for a long while, their breaths heavy as if the air had grown thinner and they had to work harder to breathe. All the while, Roy stared deeply into his comrade's hazel eyes and he soon realized they were trained hungrily on his own slightly parted, chapped lips.

Roy looked down and then he looked up through his eyelashes as Maes wet his own lips. Maes tilted his head slightly to the side as he came closer, and as he did, Roy found himself closing his eyes too. He could feel it- he could feel Maes's lips hovering over his- he could feel their heat... and he could feel the heat lessen in intensity as Maes pulled them away, almost as if he were teasing him.

Yes, he was teasing him. And it was horrible, but breathtakingly wonderful at the same time.

Before he knew it, Roy then felt the warmth return as lips collided against his own. At first he had been caught by surprise, but he eventually surrendered to Maes's touch, leaning in and deepening the kiss, and it slowly transformed from something more desperate into something softer and slower and gentler which simply made Roy melt.

Maes pulled away and he brushed his lips back over Roy's, his touch as light as a feather before moving back in, their mouths moving in sweet synchronization and tongue began to explore mouth.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, the spaces between Roy's fingers intertwined with Maes, filling the gaps in between them, but Maes' calloused hands drew apart from Roy's and now tugged at his dark hair. They. then cupped his flushed cheeks.

Maes's warm lips trailed down Roy's exposed neck, leaving behind a bit of moisture on his skin as he worked his way upward, he gently kissing and sucking before he collided with Roy's parted lips once more.

"We... we can't... continue doing this..." Roy panted softly as they broke for air. "This is becoming an everyday thing... Someone's... someone's going to find out sooner or later. We're going to be dismissed for disorderly conduct."

"Why would they do that?" Maes hummed in a sing-song voice. "Have you been bad, Golden Boy?"

"Oh, shut up, you know I don't-" Roy paused and his eyes widened upon realizing who was still there.

"Fuck!" he cursed softly.

He turned his head. And he looked over at Edward who stood in the middle off the hall with his jaw on the floor and a look on his face that made it seem like, in shock, his soul had departed from his body.

Edward suddenly sat up in bed, breathing heavily with golden eyes wide. Alphonse, who was also in the room, hurriedly flipped on the light switch and went across the motel room to see whatever sent his brother into such a horrified state.

"Brother?! Did you have one of those dreams again?! Did something bad happen?!"

Edward put his hands to his head and looked at his taller, but still younger, brother. Ed then spoke, talking a mile a minute. "They were in the military academy and Hughes pushed Mustang up against a wall and ate his damn face!" he exclaimed.

Alphonse dumbly tilted his head slightly to the side. "Ate his face?" he asked, obviously confused.

"They made out with one another, Al!" Edward clarified.

Somehow, Al's armor helmet turned white as a sheet... if that's even possible.

"ROY MUSTANG HAD A HOMOSEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH HUGHES!" Ed sobbed, looking as if he were on the verge of tears. "WITH HUGHES! AND I HAD TO STAND THERE AND WATCH HIM MAKE OUT WITH HUGHES! DO YOU KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THAT IS?! DO YOU, AL?! THEY EVEN USED TONGUE!"

"You didn't have to watch, Brother!" Alphonse said in a shrill voice, "You could have- you could've left the room or something!"

"Oh, I was too shocked to move..." Ed groaned with a pained face.

"But still, you could have at least looked away! I don't understand why you're so upset, especially since you're gay yourself!"

Edward groaned again and buried his head in his hands. "Ugh..."

"If it's bothering you so much, why not talk to Mustang about it? I'm sure he can clear things up for you..."

Five minutes later, Ed was on the phone. It rang twice before one of Mustang's receptionists picked up. It was the usual- Amy- who let out a soft yawn before speaking in a tired, sluggish voice.

"Yeah? What the hell do you want?" she yawned. She quickly cleared her throat and composed herself, speaking in a more professional way. "Um, I mean, Colonel Roy Mustang's office, how may I help you?"

"Put Mustang on the line!" Edward demanded loudly.


	8. Please, Explain

Anatem, Amestris. 1917

 

"I'm sorry, but Mustang is not at the office at the moment," Amy said cheerily, "It's two o'clock in the morning, if you haven't noticed. May I ask who's speaking?"

"You know damn well who I am, Amy! Transfer me to his house phone!" Ed shouted, the sound of his voice echoing through the hotel room that he and Al were staying in.

Amy yawned again. "Sure thing, Sir, but I'm warning you, he isn't going to be happy..."

With that, Ed heard a faint click and the phone rang again. He leaned against the wall and waited as Alphonse silently lumbered out of the room, giving him some privacy. The phone rang once, and then twice, and then three times. After the fourth ring, Edward heard Mustang pick up.

Mustang let out a tired groan before speaking, and Ed could practically hear him running his hands over his face with passive aggressive frustration. "What did you destroy now, Ed?"

Ed ignored the comment and pushed his back off of the wall, speaking quickly and spewing out one question after the other.

"In the military academy, you and Hughes were in a relationship, weren't you?! How long did it last?! Did you sleep together?! Wait, no, don't answer that question! Why did you cut off your hair? Did stuff still go on between you two after Gracia came into the picture?! Tell me! Tell me now! Just throw it all up like you just ate bad Xinganse or something!"

The line went silent.

"Answer me, bastard!"

"Of course not," Mustang eventually replied in a soft, slightly shaky voice. "How in the world did you know about that, Fullmetal? Did Hawkeye tell you?"

"Hawkeye knew too?!" Ed questioned loudly.

On the end of the line, Mustang narrowed his eyes and took a moment to think over the situation.

"What in the world do you think you're doing, Fullmetal?" he asked coolly.

"I'm getting answers!"

"You're calling me in the middle of the night to ask me questions about my personal affairs that, honestly... you have no right to go digging into! What do you want from me, and how in the world did you acquire this information?!"

Ed let out a deep breath and leaned back against the wall. He thoughtfully twirled the telephone cord around his index finger.

"Look. Mustang... don't laugh, because this is honest to god serious. I've... I've been having dreams about you."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You've been having dreams about me," he repeated dubiously. "You aren't falling for me, are you Edward?"

"It's not like that, pervert! I just... I just woke up there."

Mustang went silent for a moment.

"What do you mean you just woke up there?"

"I don't know," Edward said honestly. "I just go to sleep, or I just nod off for a few seconds, and I find myself... walking through your past. I've seen everything, Mustang. I saw your childhood home burn, I saw what your father did to you in that house, I saw you and Hawkeye at her father's home, and I saw you and Hughes... together at the academy. Do you..." Ed paused. "Do you remember me? Do remember me being there?"

"Why... why would I remember you?" Roy asked. "It was a dream, right?"

Ed closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "Oh, forget I said anything. But... it was true, though. Did all of that happen to you? The stuff I saw actually happened, right?"

Mustang answered truthfully without hesitation and without any shame.

"Yes."

A long silence hung in the air.

"I'm bisexual," Mustang stated. "Maes was a pansexual, meaning that he liked people for their personality, not for their sex or sexual orientation."

"I know what it means to be pansexual, I'm just upset that I had to watch you two have a make out session!" Edward exclaimed.

"Why? Are you jealous?"

Edward felt his cheeks heat up. "N-No way, you bastard!"

"Anyway, it went on for a few months and then we ended it about a month after we went to Ishval. We just drew apart I guess, but we settled things between us when the war was over. A few months after we were first stationed in Ishval, Hughes was able to come home for a month, and I suggested that he meet an old friend of mine that I met in Central. After that... well, the rest was history."

Ed blinked. "You set Hughes and Gracia up," he said, a small smile spreading across his face.

"Yes, I suppose I did."

"But did you love him?" Ed asked bluntly. "Did you love Hughes?"

There was another long silence.

"I did at one point," Mustang answered. "But now he holds a special place in my heart. As a friend. A rather good one if I say so myself."

Not much else was said after that. Satisfied, Ed let Mustang go back to sleep, and then he went out for a walk. About a half hour later, he returned upstairs where he tiredly plopped down onto his bed. He sat on the edge, resting his chin in his hands as he looked out the window at the silver crescent moon and the cloudless night sky. Alphonse quietly watched his brother from a chair in the corner. It was a long while before he stood and wordlessly sat down next to his brother.

"You're upset about something," Alphonse guessed. "There's something troubling you."

Ed said nothing. He turned his head slightly, hiding his face.

"Come on Brother, don't be like that. Tell me what's wrong."

Alphonse watched as his brother's shoulders fell slightly- a sign that he was giving in.

"Riza has a crush on Roy when they were young," Ed stated. "Nothing came of it, but seeing them together... even though I was a little bit disappointed, I was happy for them. If they liked each other, I wanted them to be together... because it made it true. I wasn't giving myself false hope. It was like I was accepting an undeniable reality."

"I... I don't understand what you're trying to say, Brother."

"You know what people say about Mustang. He's... he's a womanizer. And I thought that he had feelings for women," Ed said softly, "And only for women."

Al's suit of armor stiffened with realization. He tried to speak, but no words came out.

He tried again.

"You... you have feelings for him. You have feelings for..." Al paused, wrapping his head around the thought. "You have feelings for the colonel, don't you, Ed? You've been trying to hide it, but it's true, isn't it?! You like him!"

"I thought that he could never love someone like me..." Ed said calmly, "...and just for a fraction of a moment, seeing him with Hughes gave me hope that possibly... he could love me too. But the more I think, the more I realize how hopeless the situation is. We fight all the time- I think he hates me. He's my superior and being in a relationship with him would be against the rules. And with me being just shy of eighteen and us both being men... it would ruin him. It would ruin his reputation and I wouldn't want to hurt him like that, but it's not like it's going to happen anyway..."

"That doesn't matter, Brother!" Alphonse suddenly exclaimed loudly. "Tell him how you feel; you deserve to be happy!"

Edward looked away. "No... I really don't..." he muttered, shaking his head.

"Yes! You do!" Al cried, "And if he loved you too, none of that would matter to him!"

"Those are the key words, Al! If he loved me!" Ed shouted bitterly, balling his trembling hands into fists. "Here's a news flash for ya- he doesn't! I know that nothing is ever going to happen between us and it's just tearing me apart inside!"

Ed suddenly bowed his head and let out a ragged breath, calming himself before speaking again. "Let's just get out of here, Al," he whispered. "It's about a two mile walk to Ammyr and Grant's grave. We'll make it there by morning if we leave now. "


	9. Your Tender Embrace

South Ammyr, Eastern Amestris. 1917

 

Ed blinked his eyes which were stung by the bright morning sun. The leafless carcass of a tree standing above him provided no shade, and neither did Al, who stood next to him with a bouquet of wilting pansies in his armor hands. The wind whistled past Ed's ears and sent the loose dirt running over the tops of his black boots. Before the two brothers stood a headstone which had somehow been erected by Edward Elric himself twenty five years ago.

Edward closed his golden eyes for a moment. "Here Lies Grant Albright-Mustang," he said solemnly, not having to look at the stone to know what was ends ribbed upon it. "Beloved Brother and Friend."

He opened his eyes again.

"Hello," Alphonse said in a somewhat cheery voice, bending down and placing the flowers at the foot of the headstone. "It's nice to meet you, Grant. My name is Alphonse Elric. I know your elder brother. "

His greeting was returned by silence.

"It feels like he died yesterday, but it's been over twenty years," Ed said, looking away and kicking the dirt slightly with the toe of his boot. "And the headstone I made is here. And if it's here, then I was there, so how do you explain Mustang not remembering me?"

Alphonse was silent for a moment. "I don't know, Brother."

Al turned his head and looked at Edward. His face looked unusually pale, almost pasty, and his eyes were rimmed with pink, as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before.

"Are you alright, Ed? You don't look so good..."

"I'm fine," Ed replied curtly, avoiding Alphonse's gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Al," Ed said again, in a firmer voice. "If I say that I'm fine, I'm fine, so let's get going."

With no ideas and no leads, Ed and Al headed back in the direction they had come from. On the way, they walked around the charred and skeletal remains of Mustang's old house- a pile of charcoal black timber and crumbling bricks. As they walked around it, Alphonse stared with curiosity. Ed looked at anything and everything else, having seen the ruined structure before and disliking the memories which they erected.

With the rising sun, the air around them was becoming increasingly warmer. Ed put a hand to his clammy forehead as he felt a headache slice through his skull. And somehow, at the back of his mind, Ed heard a younger Roy's voice speaking.

He- he d-did m-m-much worse to Grant last- last week... though.

Use your head, Ed! I've got Grant to worry about! What if something happens to me?! He can't take care of himself!

Ed suddenly doubled over and groaned, grabbing his hair in his fists as the pain in his head grew ten times more intense. He could hear Alphonse worriedly call out to him, but his voice seemed far away, and it was muffled by the angry roar of the fire and the agonizing scream that had erupted from a young Roy's throat and all that Ed could see was Roy's horrified face as he struggled to free himself from Aigou's clutches. And with dark eyes wide and the glowing fire reflected inside of them, Roy desperately reached a hand out to the burning house and to his brother who had been trapped inside.

And then, as soon as the howl of the fire came, it stopped, and was replaced by a discomforting silence.

Ed was inside of a house- the house that he had seen on fire only a few seconds ago, which now stood resolute and untouched by the flame's insatiable hunger. Ed was standing in a hallway with eggshell colored walls and a warped wood floor. At one end was the front door. And at the other end...

Edward's eyes widened as a young, injured boy let out a stifled sob.

"Grant..." Ed said breathlessly. "What the hell happened to you?"

Edward turned his head as the front door opened, and standing there was a seven year old Roy who didn't bother to close the door behind him as he ran past Ed and went to his younger brother with a worried look on his face.

"Shit!" Roy exclaimed, going down on his knees in front of the small trembling boy. Putting a hand on either side of Grant's pained face, he gently lifted his head slightly. "Aw, come here. Let me have a look at you..." he cooed.

With those words, a sob escaped from Grant's lips. More tears began to flow from his eyes, mixing in with the globs of dark blood that ran down the left side of his face and part of his neck too, which were already both slick with the sickening substance. His right eye was swollen shut. Snot dripped down his nose. With his one pink, partly open eye, he gazed achingly at his elder brother as he shakily ran a hand over his blood soaked hair.

"He did this to you, didn't he?" Roy asked Grant in a soft voice.

Grant didn't answer.

Roy suddenly looked over his shoulder, shooting a fiery glance at Ed that made a shiver shoot down his spine. "What are you doing here, Ed? he asked harshly, as if Ed were the one who had hurt his younger brother in the first place.

"I... I don't know," Edward said honestly.

Roy turned to his younger brother and patted his shoulder gently before standing up and turning his back to him.

"L-Lee, where are you going?!" Grant called in a panicked voice.

Roy balled up his fists. "I'm gonna go back to town and give that jerk a piece of my mind!" he growled. "Ed, look after him until I come back."

"Lee?! Lee don't go!" Grant cried, taking hold of Roy's wrist. Roy roughly pulled it away.

"You shouldn't accept this, Grant!" Roy shouted. "He hurt you again, and I sure as hell am not gonna let you get pushed around by that asshole!"

Roy quickly walked past Ed and went out the door. Ed rushed after him.

"Hey, Mustang! I mean, Lee! Where the hell do you think you're going?!" he shouted after him. Roy was only able to take a few steps before Ed grabbed hold of his arm. "Your brother's scared and hurt," he stated, "he needs you!"

Roy wrenched his arm away. "Let me go! It isn't any of your business!"

"You don't understand, Lee!" Ed growled.

Hearing the urgency in the blond's voice, Roy paused and blinked.

"I get it!" Ed said quickly. "I have a little brother too, and if someone talks shit about me behind my back, I'll just walk away and leave it alone- I have more important crap to deal with! But if someone upsets Al, they're gonna have their ass handed to them on a silver platter- I get that! But right now, I need you to calm your tits and listen to me!"

A look of disbelief fell across Roy's face. "You want me to stay calm... when that monster did that to my little br-"

"For fucks sake, if you care about your brother, you'll listen to me!" Ed shouted desperately, firmly taking hold of the boy's shoulders. Edward saw him flinch slightly under his touch, but he ignored it and continued to speak. "Something horrible is going to happen, you need to go back to Grant, you need to pack up your things, and you need to leave! Now!"

Roy's face relaxed. "You... you want us to run away," he stated questioningly.

"You have an aunt in Central, right?! Take your brother and go to her!"

Roy narrowed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "I barely know her, but... but you're serious about this, aren't you? And how do you know about my aunt?"

"If you care about your brother, you'll do anything you can to get away from here," Ed said, searching Roy's obsidian eyes. "Aigou is going to come here, and he's going to kill your father and your brother."

Roy's shoulders fell slightly. "How do you know that?"

"I just know! And I need you to trust me!"

Ed motioned his head back to the house. "Go. Go back to Grant."

Roy pause and then silently nodded before walking back. Ed saw Grant look up with a tear streaked face as the door opened. Grant ran down the hall and practically leapt into his brother's arms.

Roy embraced his trembling form.

"Come here. I know it hurts; yes, I know..." Roy said in a soothing voice. He put a hand on the back of Grant's head, bringing him close to his thin frame and rubbing his back in a circular motion. "Shhh... you don't have to say a thing. Now why don't we get you cleaned up?"

Grant bit his lower lip and nodded his head.

The entire time, Ed watched from just outside the doorway with his mouth slightly parted in surprise. He felt slightly sick to his stomach. And his heart? It ached in a way it hadn't for quite a while. But the feeling wasn't a stranger to him.

It didn't ache for Roy in particular, but it ached for something else.

By the time Roy got Grant cleaned up and made him something to eat, it was nighttime. Their father, who had gone into town, hadn't returned yet. Ed walked around the house, quietly searching for Grant as Roy washed the dishes.

Eventually, Edward found Grant sitting alone in the dark on the edge of the bed in Roy's room. The boy had his head lowered, and he wiped his nose with the back of his arm.

Ed looked at him with his brow knitted with worry. "Grant, are you alright?" he asked.

Ed saw Grant's shoulders shake slightly. "Don't worry about me," he said quietly. "I'm okay."

Ed's shoulders fell. Grant obviously wasn't okay, and he was about to tell Grant not to lie about it, but stopped himself upon realizing that he would have said the same thing if he were in a similar situation. He would have lied too.

Ed clenched his teeth together and lowered his head almost in shame of his own vulnerability as he felt that feeling again. That heavy and empty, yet all consuming ache in his chest.

"Gr-Grant?"

The boy looked up at Edward's solemn face with eyes filled with curiosity upon hearing him stammer.

"What is it?" the child asked with concern.

Edward bit his lower lip slightly before speaking. "Grant... can I... may I... may I hug you?"

Grant paused, but eventually nodded his head slightly and slid off of the bed so he could stand on the floor. Ed went down on one knee and wrapped his arms around the small child and buried his face into the fabric covering his shoulder.

Grant was warm.

It was nice.

"Wh-what's wrong, Ed?" Grant asked.

Edward let out a long, shaky breath. "Something... something happened to my younger brother, Grant," Ed explained softly.

"You have a little brother?" Grant asked with wonder.

"Yes, I do. But you see... he can't smile. He can't cry. And when he feels like doing so, I can't hold him and comfort him, because... well, because he can't feel it. And seeing me try would only remind him of that. He... he can't feel my warmth; he can't feel my touch. And as long as he can't feel, it would feel wrong for me to be able to do so. Until he can feel again, I don't want anyone to touch me. Whenever someone does so... well, I feel so guilty afterward, it just... it just eats me up inside. I want to be numb. I want to be numb, but at the same time, I want to feel something gentle. Something warm. I'm... I'm only human, aren't I?"

Edward opened his eyes and woke up alone in the dark, sitting atop his own bed in the motel room. Al had carried him there.

Ed swallowed back the lump in his throat and slowly hugged his knees to his chest and felt his hands run over his boxers and down the length of his bare legs, his flesh hand coming into contact with cool metal and his automail hand coming into contact with skin that he assumed was warm.

He couldn't feel it.

"I...I can't feel a thing," he stated softly, lying to himself. "I can't feel a thing..."

Edward buried his head in his knees and let his golden bangs fall over his skin.

"Please... Roy..." he whispered.

Roy sat up in his own bed, and hugged his arms to his chest before bowing his head slightly, letting his dark unruly hair fall over his onyx eyes. He closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath. 

"Edward...please..."

The two of them let out a soft sigh before speaking again, this time in unison.

"Brother, forgive me. Though you can no longer feel... please..."

"Ed..."

"Roy..."

"Please... hold me in your tender embrace. Your warmth- may it soothe my tortured heart."

"And make it known..." Ed said softly. "Let me know..."

"...Let me know that you care for me... the way I care for you."


	10. His Spirit Manifest

Ishval, Eastern Amestris. 1905

 

A long convoy of trucks sped across the barren desert landscape, the midday sun beating down upon their metal hoods, making them as hot as lit stove tops.

Hughes sat at the back of the last pickup truck in the convoy. Edward was sitting beside him, but of course, Hughes couldn't see him.

After a while, Edward had figured that is was something selective. Children could see him, no matter what age they were. He didn't know why. But if you were an adult, you could only see him if you needed to. He just wasn't sure what constituted of needing.

Hughes had only been in Ishval for less than two hours and he already hated it. Edward could tell. The man sighed as he quickly rolled up the dusty sleeves of his heavy blue jacket. It was way too hot to be wearing the full uniform, especially with the coat. The scratchy fabric was starting to stick to his arms.

Edward looked upward and examined Hughes' face which was streaked with dirt and glistened with sweat. It was sad and pensive as he looked far out across the ocean of yellow before him and at the thin snaking plumes of black and hazy gray smoke which came from the far south, blooming forth from devastated homes which were currently being reduced to piles of soft grey ash by the soldiers who had taken occupancy there.

Even from all the way over here, the air smelt of burning meat.

They took over places, and they burned it. Although they would be more efficient if they had a certain someone along with them.

The truck hit a bump and the small wooden crate which was formerly beside Ed fell off of the back of the truck. Ed didn't bother trying to stop it from falling, and he simply watched as it grew smaller and smaller in the distance. He then stretched his arms over his head and narrowed his eyes when he saw Hughes turn his head, staring off at something in the direction the convoy was headed in. Hughes crawled to the back of the truck to Mustang, who had been sleeping with his arms crossed and his cap lowered over his eyes.

"Roy!" Hughes said, shoving Roy's arm roughly.

Roy reached up and brought the brim of his cap lower over his eyes. "Mm..." he grunted, "...five more minutes, Maes..."

"No, Roy, you need to get up and see this! We're here!"

Roy groaned slightly, and taking his cap off of the top of his head, he looked in the direction that he saw Edward staring in.

It was civilization. A town made up of square houses the same color of the sand itself.

"That's Demerin," Hughes explained. "A trading post and the last thriving community in Ishval."

Mustang and Hughes were dropped off at a camp just a mile away from the town. They got themselves settled in, and after night fell, a few of the soldiers were allowed to go into the town. Their superior chose the lucky few at random.

Hughes stayed. Roy went. Edward followed.

It was a special day- October 11th- an important holy day on the Ishavalan calendar in which they celebrated, and gave tribute to, Ishavala.

The streets were crowded with people- children wearing clothes in shades of white, cream, red, and black, laughing as they ran around, weaving through couples who walked side by side, their arms or hands linked together. Three sand cats scampered around Roy's feet, and when Roy almost stepped on one, the other two hissed at him, baring their pointed feline teeth. Roy backed away from them and ended up bumping into someone, whom he quickly apologized to.

The night air was filled with the sound of drums and string instruments; and it was also filled with such strange and wonderful smells. Roy and Ed had no idea where to look or where to focus their attention.

The armed soldiers that Edward noticed positioned on the rooftops disheartened him slightly, but other than that, he thought it all to be wonderfully exhilarating, and found himself turning his head up, down, and in every which direction, unable to take the environment around him in all at once.

Hanging above the streets and strewn between shops and houses made of adobe were delicate red and yellow paper lanterns, along with flags adorned with stars and suns. Roy's nose burned from the smell of potent spices mixed with the intoxicatingly bittersweet smell of fruits and the aroma of roasting nuts which overwhelmed his senses. On both sides of the street, vendors sold their wares, and people from all walks of life haggled for them. The things displayed under the cloth covered stalls and carts ranged from fruits and vegetables grown in faraway places to the finest silk dresses of every color imaginable; carts piled high with books with yellowed pages and moth eaten covers, jewelry ranging from simple silver and gold bangles to sparkling red and blue gemstones embedded into pendants and circlets, and carpets woven with only the most ornate illustrations of animals and flowers which were so lifelike, they looked like they could spring up from beneath your feet if only you had the honor of standing upon them.

Roy must have wandered the streets for hours before he actually bought anything with the small amount of money he had. He eventually bought some stationary so he could write to Riza and his aunt, and then, taking the two coins he had left, he got something to eat among the food stalls. Edward was surprised when Roy bought two peaches and silently tossed one of them to him.

For a while, Ed thought that Roy had forgotten he was even there, and finding out that was not the case brought him a certain small joy.

After eating the fruits, the two young men went to the town square where there was a wooden stage lit by small paper lanterns. A crowd gathered around the stage, and upon further inspection, Roy saw a blond haired Amestrian man standing there among them. He was smiling and looking up at the stage where a blonde haired, blue eyed woman stood with what looked like red handkerchiefs in her hands, which seemed to have tiny gold weights attached to the corners. She was watching a young man who danced a few feet away from her to the beat of drums and sitars. The man also had a kerchief which he twirled around in his hand.

He transferred it to his other hand, tossed it behind his back, and caught it again. He went on to do a number of other complicated maneuvers, and when he was done, the crowd clapped and Ed and Roy did so also. Then, it apparently was the woman's turn to go.

Roy figured that they each were supposed to take turns throwing the handkerchiefs, keeping them off of the floor and ultimately trying to outdo each other.

The woman, surprisingly, was able to do the same thing that the man did before, and not only that, but she did it with three kerchiefs rather than two, and added her own flair, elbowing one as it was falling and then catching it in her hand and tossing it behind her leg and catching it again several times while keeping the other two kerchiefs in the air. All the while, the red eyed gentleman stood shaking his head with his arms crossed over his chest, smiling at the woman's talent.

When the woman was done, the man stepped forward and shook her hand with a grin on his face. The crowd cheered and clapped, and the Amestrian man stepped and caught the woman in his strong arms as she hopped off of the stage.

The man spun her around in a circle two times before setting her down again. " That was perfectly wonderful, Sarah!"

She gave the man a loving peck on the cheek. "Thank you, dear."

Edward's eyes widened.

The man had said the name Sarah.

The Rockbells. They were Winry's parents!

Edward suddenly after them, pushing his way through the crowd, abandoning Roy and desperately trying to reach them.

"Mrs. Rockbell!" he shouted. "Mr. Rockbell! Wait! It's me, Ed! Edward Elric!"

Edward accidentally bumped into someone who shouted at him, something about him being short too, but Ed didn't pay attention. He needed to catch up to the couple. He was losing them. He could barely see the top of Mr. Rockbell's head, and when he blinked, he lost sight of it. Ed panicked slightly, scanning the area in hope of locating the couple again, but it was then that he felt someone wrap their hand around his flesh wrist.

It was a delicate hand. A woman's hand.

Edward turned his head and saw a woman with wavy, inky black hair which cascaded over her shoulders, sitting with her long legs crossed one over the other. She was perched atop a wooden crate that was positioned against an adobe wall. She looked out of place, wearing a fitting, black dress which was strapless and left her shoulders bare. Her eyes were light rose in color, and Ed noticed that on her upper sternum, just below her collarbone, was a distinctive tattoo of Ouroboros- the dragon devouring its own tail- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life and death.

The woman made Ed uncomfortable. He had a sudden urge to run away, but he stayed put because as far as he could tell, he wasn't in any danger.

"Do you want me to tell you your future, Edward Elric?" the woman said in a especially smooth, silky voice. "I can tell your future."

Edward's golden eyes widened. "You... you can see me? And how do you know my name?"

"Not only that, young man, but I also know what you are."

"And what would that be?" Edward challenged, narrowing his eyes slightly.

A small, secretive smile spread across the woman's face. "You are The Spirit Manifest, of course."

Edward stood still, but he eventually frowned and pulled his hand away from her grasp. "Yeah, well I don't want my future told, lady," he stated caustically. "You can save that crap for somebody else."

"Then how about I relay a message?" she questioned unblinkingly, "A message concerning your lover?"

Edward said nothing and the woman continued to speak with a mischievous glint in her oddly colored eyes.

"His eyes are dark, but they are not empty," she said calmly. "A fire dwells within them- a spirit. You, Edward Elric, are that spirit in human form. And where Lee is going... he does not want you to follow. He wishes to forsake spirit, for without the spirit, he feels nothing. He is empty. But I ask that you stay with him, Edward. May the spirit live within him so that I may look forward to the day those dark and wonderful eyes are wide with agony."

Edward's heart beat faster in his chest, almost as if it wanted to run away without him. The woman's perfect, rosy lips curled upward into a smile and it was then that Ed gave in to the urge to run. As he pushed through the bustling crowds on the street, he heard her voice whispering in his head.

"That day... It's coming... It's coming..."

Edward's left foot caught on something. He felt his body come tumbling forward, and he stuck out his arms to catch himself, but his palms didn't meet with the sandy ground as they should have, but instead they met with a cool tile floor.

He wasn't outside anymore- he was in a room- a small one. And in it were four other individuals.

Edward silently sat back on his knees. There was a tense air hanging around him, something taught that could be cut by the blade of a knife.

He looked around.

Behind him was a rather large man with a black handlebar mustache and a faint scar on one side of his chin. He was in military uniform.

That was Brigadier General Gran. The Iron Blood Alchemist.

Edward turned his head and looked forward. The Rockbells were standing there, though they were wearing different clothes than the ones he had seen them wearing only moments ago. Urey stood in front of Sarah in a very protective way and they were both staring in front of them, directly into the barrel of a hand gun which moved slightly in its owner's trembling hands.

Ed's blood ran cold and his heart skipped a beat. The dread in his chest and stomach made him feel sick, like he wanted to vomit.

When Ed spoke, his voice was softer than a whisper. He was shaking too hard, and the sound went unheard.

"M-M-Mustang..."

Roy stared forward with eyes wide. There was a look of terror in them that Edward hadn't seen since the day he watched his house burn with his brother and father inside of it.

Gran's brow furrowed as he lowered his chin slightly. "Captain," he said firmly. "I can, and will, have you shot for not carrying out my orders."

Edward wet his dry lips before speaking again.

"Mustang..." he tried to say in a calm voice, "Roy... put the gun down..."

"Do as I say, Captain," Gran growled. "Shoot them."

"Roy, listen to me... Please... put the gun away..." Ed begged quietly.

A snap was heard as Gran took the safety off of his own gun. He lifted it and pointed it at the back of Roy's head.

"Captain, I have no tolerance for disobedience! Do as I say, or face the consequences; you have five seconds to make a decision!"

Wide eyed, Edward tore his gaze away from Roy and looked at Winry's father, but his form was blurred. Ed could feel hot tears welling up in his eyes, burning and threatening to fall.

"One... Two..."

Ed's fingernails dug deep into his thighs as he rocked himself slightly. He looked over at Roy as tears began to run down cheeks. "Roy!" he cried desperately. "Roy, listen to me; this is a mistake!"

"Three..."

"Roy, don't do this!"

Roy's hold on the gun grew firmer. Ed saw him narrow his eyes slightly, and he watched as Roy swallowed back the lump he held in his throat.

"Four..."

Roy's finger lingered near the trigger, now steady and poised. He shut his eyes.

"ROY, PLEASE, NO!" Ed cried, and a scream escaped from his throat as a deafening crack ripped through his ears and through the air, and a silver bullet ripped right through the two targets which collapsed upon the floor with a sickening thud.

Roy opened his eyes and let out a ragged breath.

In headquarters, the knob on the bathroom sink squeaked loudly as Mustang quickly turned on the faucet and out came a flood of lukewarm water. He ran his hands under the water for a few short moments before they dashed over to the soap dispenser and pumped it six or seven times.

More soap. More soap.

Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat. More soap. More soap. More soap. Clean in-between the fingers. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat again. Again. Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

The process was almost dizzying, but as soon as it started, it came to a halt. Wide eyed and with a heaving chest, twenty seven year old Mustang took his wet hands and gripped the edge of the bathroom sink so hard, his fingers turned white. He looked at the person staring back at him in the mirror with dark circles beneath his eyes.

He was a mess.

Letting out a long shaky breath, he looked down at the slightly pink soapy suds that collected at the drain of the sink and the long, crimson tracks that slowly slid down the sides of the porcelain sink that came dripping down from his fingertips. And his palms. And his wrists. It seeped into the faint valleys on his palms and stained his pale skin bright red. He carded a shaky, wet hand through his raven hair, leaving bloody fingerprints at his hairline.

Around him, the white walls had suddenly been painted deep red. Bucketfuls of the macabre paint still poured down like a waterfall and collected at his feet.

He shut his eyes tight and let out another shaky breath before speaking.

"C-c-control. C-control...C-control..." he chanted softly. "It's all in your head. It's all in your head. You're fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's-"

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Riza calling to him.

"Roy, are you alright in there?"

Mustang opened his eyes, and in a sort of daze, he looked around at the clean white walls, and the clean white sink, and his pale, and perfectly clean, skin.

"Roy?" he heard Riza say again with concern lacing her words.

"Yes, Riza?" re replied softly.

"We have a new lead on the candidate for the state alchemist program. Mr. Edward Elric lives in Resembool."

Roy closed his eyes for a moment.

"Alright," he replied. "I'll be out in just a minute."


	11. Silence

Truman, Southern Amestris. 1905

 

In one swift motion, Hughes swept a knife across the thirteen year old Ishvalan girl's neck, sending an arch of blood slicing through the air and painting the dry, dusty ground a deep, sickening red.

"What did that letter opener ever do to you?" Riza asked with a small smile as she placed a tea cup on the table in front of Roy. "You've been staring at it for the past five minutes..."

Roy blinked. 

He was sitting at the kitchen table in the home where Hawkeye had grown up. He had originally come to Truman to gain access to Berthold's research on flame alchemy, however, the man had passed away a few hours after his arrival. He succumbed to an illness leading up to failure of the heart.

He and Riza had buried him the next morning- two mornings ago. With the man's absence, a silence had fallen upon the house. A silence and an emptiness. A silence and an emptiness and a wonder that made you want to run away- the question as to how the world could keep turning with a part of it missing, even thought that part was so small and insignificant, yet big at the same time.

Roy's eyes and thoughts went back to the letter opener on the table in the corner, next to which Edward stood, silently leaning against the wall. Ed had been giving him the cold shoulder lately and he could guess the reason why. 

Roy couldn't remember the last time he had heard the young man speak.

"The letter opened, it.. it reminds me of a friend," Roy finally said to Hawkeye.

He could tell that Hawkeye wanted him to continue and take her mind off of things, so he did. 

"He's good with knives and he says he's better with push knives than with anything else, but I think he's equally skilled with everything. Handguns too- he's a decent shot. We used to be in a relationship, but when we were deployed... well, we ended it. We still stayed in touch though. He's nice."

"Hm," Riza hummed, sitting down at the table in a chair across from Roy's. "Is your friend an alchemist?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, no. Maes is smart, but stuff like that goes over his head. He's more of a strategist. Although... he's so bad in the kitchen, he can transmute scrambled eggs into charcoal. He has a girl waiting for him at home though, and she's a very good cook. Maybe she'll teach him his way around a stove." 

Roy let out a soft sigh, and putting an elbow on the table, he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. 

"The man always goes on about how he wants to marry her," he continued, "but he's always made it clear that he doesn't want to have children with her. He's excellent at his job, but at being a father? He just doesn't know. He thinks it would be wrong- he's already slit so many kids' throats, I mean, we all have, and he doesn't think he could-"

Roy froze and his breath caught in his throat when his eyes fell upon Riza's. She had been caught off guard- he could tell that she was uncomfortable and he felt a sense of horror was over him as he realized that this was his fault.

Roy wet his lips and looked at her apologetically. "Riza... I'm so sorry. I don't know how to talk in front of..." 

He paused and glanced down at his cup of tea. 

"I'm afraid I just don't know what to say in front of good company anymore..."

Riza blinked and her brown eyes grew soft again. "It's alright," she said. "Maes sounds like an interesting man."

"He is."

"I think I'd like to meet him someday."

Roy's eyes fell back to his tea cup which he held in his hands. He let out a soft breath before speaking.

"Riza... do I... do I frighten you? You don't think I'm a monster, do you?"

"Of course not, Roy," she said, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear before looking him in the eyes.

"I don't frighten you?" Roy asked again, obviously unsure if she was speaking the truth. "Not even a little?" 

"Not even a little."

One corner of Roy's mouth turned slightly upward in amusement. "You used to bite your lips when you were afraid. Or nervous. Or happy too. But you don't do that anymore."

"No, I suppose I don't," she answered curtly.

"You grew up."

"Can't be helped," she replied. 

There was a small twinkle in her brown eyes. Roy had seen that look a thousand times before, but it was only then that he came upon the realization that only he was ever the one to witness it. It was a gift only ever given to him and him alone.

"Riza, be honest with me. You had a crush on me when you were younger, didn't you?"

Edward, who still stood in the corner, lifted his head, curious as to what the answer was.

"Of course I did," she replied. She didn't hesitate when she said it either. "I liked you then, and... well I suppose I always will."

Ed's heart sank. Roy fell silent for a moment and a slight blush crept across his cheeks.

"Riza, just to clear things up... I... I do care about you. Don't get me wrong. And I appreciate everything you do for me and I appreciate your company, but... you're like a sister to me."

"Roy..." she said softly.

Roy closed his slightly parted lips and let her speak.

"People love in different ways," she said, wrapping her fingers around her warm tea cup, "And I love you. And I will always love you, even if you have an interest in someone else. To me, to love means to wish only the best for the other person. I've been doing that since the day I met you, and I plan on doing that until the day I die. If being with another person is what's best for you, so be it. You're my best friend and... that's good enough for me."

Roy said nothing. He only smiled slightly, and that was enough to show Riza that he understood. Riza then stood up from her seat and walked a few paces away before pausing in the middle of the kitchen.

Roy blew on his tea softly before putting the cup up to his lips. He calmly took a sip of the warm liquid before immediately spitting the it out again, eyes widening as Riza's hands began to work their way down her white dress shirt, slowly unbuttoning buttons. She turned her back to him as she worked.

"R-Riza?!" Roy stammered. "What in the world do you think you're doing?! Didn't I just tell you that-"

Riza looked over her shoulder. "You wanted to see my father's research...did you not?" she asked coolly. 

"Of- of course, but what are you doing?!"

"Trust me," she said calmly.

Roy froze as Riza shrugged her shoulders and reached her hands up, pulling her shirt slightly downward and leaving her shoulders bare, as well as her upper back.

Roy and Ed's eyes widened and their faces went pale as they laid their eyes upon the tattoo on her back.

A transmutation array.

"You need to promise to do whatever I ask of you afterward," Riza said suddenly. "After you record it."

When Roy didn't say anything, she called his name. "Roy?"

Roy blinked. "Alright."

"Swear," she said firmly.

"I swear on my mother's grave, Riza."

"Good."

A few minutes later, Roy, Riza, and Edward too, were in the living room. Riza lay on her stomach on the couch, her pale back bare as Roy knelt on he ground beside her with a notebook and a pencil in hand. Edward stood, looking over Roy's shoulder and not saying a word as he recorded notes which were already in code, and translated them into his own secret code. An hour must have passed with Roy squinting at the small letters and symbols, lightly running his pencil eraser over her bare skin, keeping track of where he was. Meanwhile, Riza concentrated on trying not to squirm, keeping her breath steady and even. 

Not a word was exchanged between the two.

It was about two o'clock in the afternoon when Roy finally closed his notebook and deposited it into the inside pocket of his coat. Riza sat up and folded her arms over her chest while Roy picked up the blanket that lay on the arm of the couch. He deposited it onto her shoulders as she curled her legs beneath her.

Roy sat down beside her.

"Now then," he said, "I have to keep my promise. What is your request?"

Riza blinked slowly, and without a word, she turned her head slightly to the right, exposing her left cheek, which she tapped lightly with one finger. A small, sad smile appeared on Roy's face as he leaned forward and gave it a quick but tender kiss, noticing her sweet rosebud perfume.

"Anything else?" he asked, drawing away.

"Burn it."

Roy froze. 

"Excuse me?"

"The tattoo. I want you to burn it off of my back. My father put it there without my consent and I want it off, once and for all."

Roy suddenly stood up from the couch and put a and over his mouth as he walked a few paces away. He turned to face her again and shook his head. Edward could see the distress on his face.

"I won't," he said. "I could never do that to you."

For about the first time in her life, Riza looked like she was on the verge of tears. "You said you would!" she cried. "You swore, Roy! You swore on your mother's grave!"

"I won't hurt you, Riza!" Roy shouted, balling up his gloved hands at his sides.

Tears threatened to fall as baring her teeth, Riza angrily slammed a fist down onto the couch. "Dammit, Roy Mustang, if you don't do it, I swear to god, I'll burn it off myself!" 

After that outburst, the only sound in the room was Riza's heavy breathing. 

Edward looked over at Roy, and upon taking one look into his eyes, he knew the decision he had come to. Edward quickly turned around left the room. Standing outside of the room in the hallway, he pressed his back against the wall and listened as Roy quietly instructed Riza to sit on the floor and turn around. He heard the fabric of the blanket rustle quietly as it was pulled off of her back, and after that, silence fell for about the hundredth time that day.

It was quiet for an eternity, and the quiet hung in the air like a small rubber ball a millimeter away from rolling off of the edge of a cliff.

It fell, and Edward slapped a hand over his mouth, every muscle in his body tightening just as a scream of agony ripped through the air, violently tearing it in two. His hands trembled as he shut his eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears, but failing as he heard as the wail went on and on, clawing itself out of Hawkeye's throat and finally bursting free like a drowning man finally breaching the surface of the water for air.

The screaming stopped as quickly as it had come, and he could hear Hawkeye sobbing and gasping and choking for air. He could hear her trembling breath as she spoke. 

"Is... I-Is it gone? Is... it... done?" she asked quietly.

"I... I..."

That was Roy's voice. Wavering and uncharacteristically filled with fear and almost brimming with concern.

"For fucks sake, Roy, is it gone?!" Hawkeye cried.

"I can't do any more, Riza, I-"

Edward worked up the nerve to peek into the room and saw Mustang sitting on his knees on the floor, holding Riza's quaking shoulders. "I'm sorry..." he sobbed. "Oh, I'm so sorry..."

Edward ducked behind the wall again.

"Leave, Roy!" Riza sobbed, her voice breaking.

Roy apparently didn't move. 

"I SAID GET OUT! Oh, please... J-just... just don't look at me while I'm like this..."

A few seconds later, Edward felt a cool breeze on his warm skin as Roy quickly walked past, breaking into a jog as he ran the rest of the way down the hall. Edward watched him go, leaving Riza alone on the floor.

 

Don't look at me...

 

...Edward, do me a favor. When I go back to Ishval...don't follow me.

 

Edward blinked. 

He was in Ishval now. He could tell from the rocky gray earth and the tan canvas tents that sprouted up from it. A couple of soldiers mingled around in the waning late afternoon sun. Edward turned his head, and sure enough, there was Roy, sitting on the ground, leaning against a wooden crate beside a tent. He appeared to be asleep, but he awoke to notice as a man that Ed recognized as Hughes walked toward him. 

"...Hughes?" Roy said tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you were sent up north."

"I was," Hughes said, stopping in front of him and reaching into his cost pocket, "but I volunteered to deliver something to you. It's from the higher ups and it's very valuable."

Hughes pulled out a tiny object and crouched down, taking one of Roy's hands and slipping a ring onto the fourth finger of his left hand. It was simple gold band, and embedded into it was a red gemstone which Edward recognized as an imitation of a Philosopher's Stone.

"I now pronounce you husband and husband!" Hughes said jokingly. "Don't know where the other husband is though!"

"Stop it. It's perverse," Roy stated bitterly, hastily taking the ring off of his ring finger and slipping it onto his index finger. "It's not a toy; it's a weapon."

"When you switch the ring to a different finger, it means you're a widower," Hughes stated. "Or you're divorced- your partner left you."

The next second, Roy and Ed were standing somewhere else- they were on the battlefield. 

They heard the crack of bullets whizzing through the air and the screaming, both deafening, and around them was a thick cloud of dust and rock, hanging in the air like the metallic scent of blood and the stomach-turning stench of human decay and burning meat. In the distance, flashes of red flickered, illuminating the dark. 

There were no other soldiers around to hear the silence that fell.

Roy stood alone, his black hair whipping around in the wind, his arm raised, and his gloved fingers poised to snap, prepared to send a bold of fire shooting at an unseen target before him. 

His jaw fell ever so slightly as he looked at Edward who stood in the middle of the chaos with him with his hands in the pockets of the red coat that whipped around his slender but toned form.

Ed's face gave away nothing. His eyes gave away nothing. 

His face was as blank as an untouched canvas and as cold as a silver blade slicing through the crisp night air before it meets its target.

Without speaking a word, Edward turned his back to him and walked away.

 

...your partner left you...

 

And with each step Edward took, the light in Roy's eyes grew dimmer and dimmer and dimmer...

Until there was no spirit left.


	12. Fear and Punishment

Central City, Amestris. 1917  

 

It was about nine o'clock at night when Jean Havoc pushed open the doors to the Colonel's office and stepped inside. Mustang had just turned the lights off and now the large room was bathed in the pale light of the crescent moon hanging high in the sky. Roy was just about to leave when Havoc walked in with something in hand.

"Hey, Chief? You have a package."

"Thank you, Havoc," Roy replied courteously, taking the thick envelope which was handed to him. 

It wasn't heavy, but it had some weight to it. Without bothering to turn the lights back on, Roy went back around his desk and sat down.

Since Havoc hadn't been dismissed and he was technically off duty, he sat down in a chair in the corner, crossing one leg over the other. Reaching into his pocket and taking out a pack of cigarettes, he watched curiously as Roy ripped open the paper envelope and out slipped something small and circular in shape, which gleamed in the moonlight. 

It was a pocket watch. 

Roy opened the watch, and upon seeing what was inside of it, he quickly set it down and picked up the envelope again, shaking it slightly and letting a folded piece of paper slide out onto the the table. He unfolded it, read it quietly to himself, and then paused.

Havoc narrowed his eyes. 

"What is it, Chief?"

"Nothing," Roy replied bluntly, obviously lying. "I need to make a call."

Havoc took that as a sign to leave. He put a cigarette in between his lips, stood up, and went out the door, closing it gently behind him and leaning against it so he could listen in on at least one side of the conversation.

Roy reached for the phone on this desk, put the receiver to his ear, and quickly dialed a number. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Rockbell Automail and Outfitters, how can I help you today?" Winry Rockbell recited cheerily. Her smile fell and she stiffened when she heard Roy's voice.

"Put Ed on the phone. I know he's there, Miss Rockbell. He has nowhere else to go."

"N-no! Ed- isn't here!" she said nervously, "What- what would he be doing here anyway?! He-he-he..."

"Put him on the phone or I'll come over there myself," Roy said firmly. "Do you understand?"

He heard Winry let out a sigh of defeat. "Yes, Sir..." she said glumly, "I'll get him."

A few seconds passed before Roy heard Edward's voice on the other end of the line. His heart leapt with upon hearing the familiar voice, although he wasn't quite sure of the reason why.

"Hello, Colonel," Ed said coolly. 

"I got your package and letter in the mail," Roy said quickly. "What is this about? And you've been gone for three weeks. What in the world have you been doing?"

"Al and I were near Resembool," Edward admitted, "and I honestly haven't really been sleeping well, or eating well either, so I got sick. Al took me to Winry's and we've been there ever since."

Roy's brow furrowed with worry. 

"Are you alright, Ed?"

"I'm fine," Ed replied with obvious annoyance, "Don't talk to me like that."

The bitter tone in his voice didn't go unnoticed.

"I received your letter of resignation," Roy stated, touching the letter on his desk. "Why are you leaving the military after all of this?"

"It was the dreams which aren't dreams" Ed said suddenly. "I... I saw Ishval, Mustang."

Roy's eyes widened and his voice caught in his throat as a long silence consumed the air. 

Roy wet his lips.

"How much?" he finally asked.

"All of it," Edward whispered painfully. "Whenever I close my eyes- it's killing me, Mustang..."

He paused for a moment, clenching his jaw, fearing that if he continued to speak, his voice would break. He felt sick inside.

"I... I have seen every horrible thing that you have ever done..." he continued, "and I have seen it through the eyes of every man, woman, and child you have ever killed... I... I don't need you, Mustang. And I don't ever want to see you again. It's silly and... and childish to word it that way, but it's true."

Silence fell upon them again and Roy let out a ragged breath which was loud in the empty, quiet room. "You don't know me... I'm not who you think I am," he said. "All of us...Hawkeye, Hughes, Armstrong, myself..."

"Don't you dare bring them into this!" Edward growled.

"You and Alphonse knew that we did terrible things," Roy continued, "but that was all you knew of the matter. It was simply "terrible things", supported by the dark rumors that get passed along in headquarters. When you and Alphonse were younger, we didn't tell you about our personal lives or what we had done. We didn't go into the specifics because we were past that, it wasn't important, and more importantly, we didn't want you two to be afraid. We were protecting you and ourselves. And the way that you looked at us without knowing what we were capable of... well, it made us feel pretty damn good. Everyone at headquarters knew what we did. Except for you. We... we were following orders, but all of us still hold some sort of guilt. However the one who did the most damage was myself. And if things went the right way... I would have been put on trial. And... and I would have been executed for my crimes. But Edward, you have to understand... I'm not that person anymore. I'm really not..." he said, his voice lowering to a whisper.

"Al and I are leaving Resembool in the morning" Ed said quickly. "We're going to search for the Stone by ourselves- we don't need your help anymore and we don't need your pointless missions to lead us off track. We're going to find the Philosopher's Stone, and we're going to use it for something good for once. And after we get our bodies back, I swear, we're never setting foot in Central again."

"You're... you're running away," Roy guessed. "Because you're afraid of me. I'm right, aren't I?"

"I'm leaving because I hate you, Bastard!" Ed shouted, causing Roy to flinch.

"Ed... don't go."

"Don't come looking for us," Ed said bitterly, "And don't send anyone after us either. We're leaving- I'd think you'd be happy to finally have us out of your hair!"

"Ed, I..." Roy paused and glanced over at the door which he knew Havoc was standing behind. "I care about you for goodness sake!" he said quietly. 

Edward's eyes widened as his body froze. After a moment, his brow furrowed painfully as he clenched his teeth and held the phone tighter in his automail hand.

He eventually snapped and hung up, putting the phone down hard.

Roy was left frozen, listening to the soft, static humming on the other end. He eventually set the phone down in an almost mechanical way and sat down in the chair behind his desk, putting his elbows on the top of it and resting his forehead in his intertwined hands.

He didn't know how much time passed before Havoc ambled in through the door with his hands in his pockets and a new cigarette in his mouth- his fourth for the night.

Roy watched as the tall blond went over to his desk and leaned against it. Without a word, Havoc plucked the unlit cigarette out from between his lips and held it out to him.

Mustang let out a tired sigh. "For heavens sake, I'm not facilitating your habit, Havoc..."

"Aw, come on!" Havoc chirped with a playful smile. "I forgot my lighter!"

With a sigh, Roy snapped his fingers, and the tip of the cigarette was lit. Havoc smiled gratefully and took a drag before speaking.

"Wanna talk?" he asked quietly.

"What about?"

"What about? Don't mind me sayin', Mustang, but you sort of look like shit."

"I sure feel like it."

"How come?"

"It's complicated."

"I've got all night. Is something going on with the kid?"

"I don't like it when you call him that" Roy stated quietly. "I don't think he does either- he's almost nineteen."

Havoc put his cigarette to his lips thoughtfully. He exhaled, sending a cloud of wispy smoke swirling in the air before them like a phantom.

"I call him "the kid" because that's what he is," he stated truthfully. "And it's because of that fact that I will never approve of how your relationship has been developing over the years."

"I don't care about your opinion, Havoc."

"Oh yes you do!" Havoc sang, regaining his playful attitude. "Anyway, back on topic. What's he scared of?"

"He's found out about everything I did in Ishval, and now he's resigned from his position as a State Alchemist. He doesn't want to see me again," he said, resting his chin on his gloved hand. "He's angry. And afraid. Afraid and angry..."

"You know... Hey. Remember when I first saw you, Chief? I admired you. I thought that you were the greatest thing since sliced bread. And then, after the war, I was put under your command. And I got to know you. Back then, you were still more than a bit rough around the edges, and you intimidated me, honestly."

"Yeah," Roy said somberly, rubbing his temples. "I could tell..."

"But then, I got to know you better, and then I went back to admiring you again. We get along fine now, don't we? At least, when you're not stealing my girlfriends. I'm sure the kid'll get over it," Havoc said, smiling to himself. "He'll come around. Just you wait and see."  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ishval, Eastern Amestris. 1908 

 

The sun had only just peeked over the dusty desert hills, but the military camp was already bustling with activity. State Alchemists had just returned from the field, and Havoc, and one of his comrades, stood outside of their tent with their hands in their pockets, absentmindedly scanning the crowd.

Havoc shouldered the shotgun which was strapped over his shoulder before he pointed a finger to a dark haired State Alchemist who walked close by.

"That's him," he said.

"That's who?" Breda asked with a look of disinterest.

"Major Roy Mustang. The Flame Alchemist."

"You sure?" Breda said dubiously.

Havoc nodded his chin motioning toward Mustang.

"Look at the gloves. I may not be the brightest bulb, but I know a transmutation circle when I see one, Heymans. His right glove is made of special material called ignition cloth. When he snaps, it makes a spark. After that, he uses alchemy to change the oxygen density in the air. And boom! Bombs on command!"

Breda crossed his arms in front of his chest and scowled. "I don't think he's so great," he said loudly, so Roy could hear. "Alchemists are all the military cares about. If one of those guys get's even a scratch, they're sent home. And people like us? We're dispensable."

Breda stiffened when the blonde haired woman walking beside the Flame Alchemist shot him a dirty look. Havoc chuckled.

Roy, who had been passing by, rolled his eyes, and without a word, he continued walking along.

Havoc and Breda were cadets. They were all very young and didn't see any action as the war was coming to a close. Basically, they were on standby and Roy didn't have time for them. He had just been assigned another mission. 

Five hours later, Roy ran alone, weaving his way in between abandoned adobe houses, the heels of his boots hitting the cracked ground hard and out of rhythm with the machine guns that were heard firing nearby.

Roy slowed down and came to a stop, pressing his back against a wall. He quietly looked around the corner, up at the nearby rooftop where he saw Ishvalan gunners duck down as more gunners began firing from the line of open windows below. 

Roy rocked slightly on his heels before he quickly rushed out of his hiding place, reeling his arm back and snapping his fingers, sending a bolt of fire and red alchemic energy arching through the air and hitting its targets at the rooftop. The force of the explosion rocked the earth and sent a plume of pitch black smoke reaching toward the cloudless blue sky on an attempt to grab the sun.

"He got 'em!" Roy heard one of his comrades exclaim from far behind.

Roy jogged forward toward the building and stopped, cautiously looking left and right before heading up the stone stairs on the side. As he crept up them, he didn't notice the sickening smell of burning meat. 

He was used to it.

He straightened as he observed the charred, smoking bodies laying before him, all of them lifeless. He took a few steps forward, scanning the area, before he heard the sound of rocks moving underfoot. 

He turned his head and drew his hand back in preparation to snap as he saw an Ishvalan stumble out of the open doorway to the side. The man groaned painfully as he pressed himself against the wall for support. 

His breathing was labored, but he looked at Mustang with ruby eyes unblinking, filled with nothing less than hate. 

But then, the Ishvalan's eyes widened.

Roy's body stiffened in a combination of shock and horror.

"Heathcliffe Erbe?!" Roy said breathlessly.

It was the Ishvalan from the military academy- the one he'd befriended what seemed to be eons ago. But the memory of their meeting was still fresh in his head.

Heathcliff's eyes glazed over slightly and his face became pained.

"Roy... Roy Mustang..." he paused, gasping with pain. "How could you?" he asked, shutting his eyes tightly.

Heathcliff's face twisted as he drew his concealed handgun. What happened next went by so quickly.

Two shots were fired, both in rapid succession. Roy felt something driving into his abdomen, pushing him back just as Hughes ran up and put a bullet in Heathcliff's head, sending the Ishvalan to the ground and killing him instantly.

Roy's body landed on the concrete with a sickening thud.

Hughes's heart wrenched as he looked over at Roy who lay deathly still on the ground before him.

"Roy!?" he cried, rushing to Roy's side. "Hang on, Roy!"

Hughes dropped down beside his friend and former lover whose body and breath now trembled. He pushed away Roy's tan colored coat to reveal the area on his lower abdomen that the bullet had been drawn to. The entire time, Roy didn't look at Hughes. With glassy, fearful eyes, he looked over to the side where he knew Edward should have been standing.

Hughes' eyes widened upon seeing the dark and bloody rose bloom on his friend's blue jacket, and he quickly put his hands upon the wound and pressed down hard, squashing the flower and desperately trying to stop its growth, not wavering as Roy's back arched painfully and a soundless scream was tugged out of his dust-caked throat.

"Medic!" Hughed cried to the soldiers rushing up to the stairs. "We need a medic over here!"

Tears threatened to fall as Hughes turned back to Roy, and swallowing back the lump he held in his throat, he smoothed back Roy's raven hair with one bloody, trembling hand. "C-come now. Breathe easy...Breathe easy now..."

Roy blinked his glassy unseeing eyes. His eyelids began to droop as a shudder racked his body.

Hughes shook Roy's shoulder slightly. "Hey! Hey, look at me..." he pleaded. "Stay with me, goddammit!"

Roy continued to look to the side, and his trembling lips moved, forming a name that Hughes did not recognize.


	13. How Can We Love

"Edward, for you... I will swallow every horrible thing I have ever done... even if it kills me."

 

Ishval, Eastern Amestris. 1908

 

Roy Mustang lay awake on a cot in a dimly lit tent. His abdomen was tightly bandaged and every breath he took sent a biting, but overall tolerable, pain shooting up his side.

Hughes sat on a wooden crate that had been set at his bedside. Not a word had been an exchanged between the two of them. What had happened hours earlier had been one of the scariest moments of Hughes's life although he didn't voice that aloud. He thought he would lose Roy, and for a while, it looked like he would be right.

Roy winced as he pulled away the dark red bed sheet and slowly sat himself up. He bowed his head, letting his dark hair fall over his forehead. "T-tell me something, Maes..." he said softly. "Why are my orders...to kill the people of my own country?"

Hughes closed his eyes for a moment and let out a quiet breath before giving his answer.

"The Ishvalans pose a threat to our security," he stated firmly, the light from lantern in the corner reflecting into the lenses of his glasses. "We have no choice but to purge them. And that's from Central."

"To purge them, huh?" Roy said coolly, looking downward. "Such a vague, iniquitous word- political code for ruthless slaughter..."

Hughes said nothing, but his face suddenly lit up with excitement in a rather strange odd change of demeanor. "Oh! And speaking of Central, Gracia sent me a letter! And a picture! Here, I'll show you!"

Hughes reached into the pocket of his tan colored coat and pulled out a small white envelope. From it, he pulled out a photograph which he looked down at with soft, loving eyes, too busy looking at it himself to show it to his friend.

"It's kind of shocking how much she loves me," Hughes said with a happy grin. "Man, talk about an amazing woman! As soon as we're out of this hellhole, I'm gonna ask her to become my wife! And don't think you're gonna skip out on the ceremony!"

Roy shuddered slightly and looked up at Hughes from the corner of his ice cold eyes which were as dead and dull as charcoal. "Can you really hold the woman you love... with your bloodstained hands?" he whispered.

Hughes' eyes widened, suddenly full with an uncharacteristic fire. He bared his teeth and his eyebrows drew downward as he gripped the letter he was holding tighter, and in the blink of an eye, he was standing over Roy's bed, gripping Roy's shirt collar in his fists and drawing him upward off of the pillows.

Roy looked back unfazed, with his still empty and lifeless obsidian eyes.

"There's one thing I learned in combat!" Hughes shouted. "Raising a family with the woman you love may be a universal right, but you have to earn that love first! Understand?! And I will do anything it takes to be the man she loves; I'll survive this war!" he roared, shaking Roy slightly. Hughes' face and grip suddenly grew slack. "And when I return home..."

Hughes paused and lowered his head, visibly shuddering. He kept his mouth shut tight for a moment, fearful that if he opened it, a sob would escape. But eventually, he loosened his lips.

"I will swallow every horrible thing I've done here... And I will smile when I'm with her! I swear on my life. I will make her happy!"

 

 

Resembool, Eastern Amestris. 1917

 

Edward lay on the couch in the Rockbell household. He put the back of his automail hand against his warm forehead and let out a soft sigh as he stared up at the cream colored ceiling. Alphonse and Winry were in the living room too, and Alphonse was sitting on the floor against the wall, his helmet buried in a book.

Meanwhile, Winry sat in a plush chair across from Edward, tinkering with a small gizmo of some sort, or at least, she was pretending to. In actuality, she was just waiting for Ed to say something.

Pinako had passed away a year ago, and honestly, Edward couldn't help but feel a bit worried for Winry staying alone in the house by herself.

She managed, but it was unsettlingly quiet these days.

It was quiet right now.

Edward closed his eyes for a moment.

"I like the Colonel, Winry," he suddenly admitted, taking his hand away from his head. "That's what's been bothering me all this time. I like Mustang, alright?"

Both Alphonse and Winry looked up. Winry set down her wrench, and whatever it was she was working on, atop the nearby coffee table.

"I figured," she stated in a quiet, solemn voice.

Edward sat up and slowly drew his knees to his chest. "But he's done such horrible things. And I watched him do those horrible things."

"I know. Al told me everything."

"He's a killer. He killed your parents, Winry. And many other people's parents too."

Winry looked down at the hands which were clasped in her lap. Her long blonde hair fell over her eyes.

"I know," she said softly. "He did."

"I love him... but how could I continue to after seeing all that?" Edward asked, looking over at her for the first time. "How can I love him?"

A small, secretive smile touched Winry's lips as she looked up and tilted her head slightly to the side. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she thought to herself for a moment.

"Well... what do you like about the Colonel?" she asked quietly.

"I don't like the Colonel," Ed grumbled into his knees. "I hate 'im."

He felt a warmth spread across his face. He was acting like a child, and he knew it.

"Then what did you like about the Colonel?" Winry questioned, ignoring his blush.

Edward blinked. He pondered to himself, trying to gather his feelings and convert them into words, and in the meantime, he shifted so he was sitting properly atop the worn couch cushions.

"Well, he's... he's very handsome..." Ed finally said, resting an arm on the armrest. "He knows it too, and it drives me nuts. He's not an idiot... though he acts like one sometimes. Well a lot of the times, but he's intelligent. He's strong. He's... he's determined... He's polite, I suppose. He treats everybody the same and it doesn't matter who they are. He projects confidence. He used to have a younger brother too and he really cared about him. He can be kind and protective, and... I like that." Ed paused and a frown fell upon his face. "He doesn't live in the past, or at least, he tries not to."

"And neither should you," Winry stated. "You said it yourself earlier- he was following orders. And every day he tears himself apart for what he's done, and like you, he's good at hiding it. I know that you care about my opinion. And I think that despite everything... he deserves to be happy. And you deserve to be happy too. I don't see you very often anymore, but when I visit Central and I see you with the Colonel... well, I know that you belong together."

Edward scoffed, pretending to feign disbelief.

Winry ignored him and continued. "Don't laugh, but after hearing your story about walking through his memories and through his memories alone... I think... I think that you're being brought together by Truth, Ed."

"By Truth?" Edward said dubiously. "Really, Winry, why would Truth want to interfere with my love life?! What does Truth have do with anything?!"

"Equivalent exchange," Al said, suddenly speaking up. "It makes sense."

A confused look washed over Edward's face.

"Equivalent exchange," Winry repeated. "Truth has everything to do with equivalent exchange, doesn't it? And that's what relationship is. Relationships are based on giving and taking, or receiving. The only relationship that isn't necessarily like that is the relationship between a parent and child.

"Or perhaps..." Alphonse hummed, looking upward and putting a finger to his metal chin, "You're being held together by a Red String of Fate!"

"A what now?!"

"According to myth," Al explained, "the gods tie an invisible red thread around the ankles or the pinkie fingers of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way. The two people connected by the red thread are destined to be lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstance. And the thread can stretch or tangle, but can never break."

Edward wrinkled his nose and looked to Winry for aid."Aw, come on! You don't believe the sap that Al's spouting, do you?!"

"I really don't know," she said sweetly. "But it would be nice if it were true..."

To Edward's surprise, a bubbling fit of laughter then erupted from his childhood friend.

"What?!" Ed cried in a slightly panicked voice. "What is it?!"

With a smile, Winry wiped tears away from the corners of her bright blue eyes. "Ha... I- I take that back; it really is true!" She pointed to the red coat that Edward was wearing. "Your coat! It's fraying on the bottom- the thread must have caught on something."

Edward looked down, and sure enough, Winry was right. A thin thread connected to the hem of his coat traveled down the side of the couch, across the carpet, and into the hallway where it disappeared around the corner. Without a word, Ed stood up and went along, collecting the thread and bunching it up into a little ball in between his fingers.

The thread went on and on.

And there seemed to be no end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter is a songfic chapter. Remember, this was the first fanfic I ever started writing, and at the time, I had no idea what I was doing. I don't like this chapter or any of the chapters after this point except for the last three, and I personally think the ending was a quick fix, but you people seemed to enjoy it, so here you go.


	14. Sound The Bugle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a songfic chapter, and if you've never heard the song Sound the Bugle by Bryan Adams, go listen to that first. Then come back.

Ishval, Eastern Amestris. 1909

 

Jean Havoc stood a few feet away from the edge of a rocky cliff, overlooking an Ishvalan city which was no more, and instead was reduced to a valley of charred skeletons as tongues of fire greedily consumed everything in their path. Although it was the middle of the day, for miles, the sky was black with smoke and ash, fading into a wispy dark gray.

Standing high above the carnage, Havoc tried to get his lighter to ignite, but he had no luck. If one looked closely, they could see his fingers tremble as he brought the unlit cigarette to his lips and inhaled deeply, his breath uneven due to the uneasy tightness that was held in his chest.

His lighter slipped out from between his fingers and he listened as another soldier calmly walked over, stooped down, and picked it up for him. Heymans Breda held it out to Havoc, and when Havoc didn't make a move to take it, he silently slipped it into his own pocket and joined his childhood friend in watching the aftermath below.

"It's almost over, Havo'...." Breda stated softly, putting a hand on Havoc's shoulder. "Almost over. This is it."

Down below, several families had fled to the edge of the city before the attack. Hughes and a few others had their rifles raised as they cornered parents and their children against a crumbling brick wall which was once the front of an inn. The crack of the soldier's guns were drowned out by the victim's screams as bullets rained down upon them like a hailstorm, snuffing the lives of their young sons and daughters right in front of their eyes. Their screams were desperate, horrified, and all too human for comfort. But in only a minute or two, all of the soldiers, including Hughes, lowered their guns, and only the sound of their heavy breaths filled the pregnant silence.

Directly after the storm, Hawkeye had abandoned her gun and position on a far off ridge, ignoring her superior's direct order to stay put. She quickly picked her way through the rubble, the smoke scratching at her eyes as she coughed and shouted her friend's name, desperately waiting for an answer.

Praying for an answer.

A man lay motionless beneath the cold body of his comrade, the corpse and the smell of death and decay covering him like a blanket. A crashing sound filled his ears as the rest of a building he had set fire to half an hour ago finally came crashing down with defeat, sending a spray of red hot cinders skittering through the air and lighting up the night that had overcome the day.

With a pained, low groan, Roy slowly and shakily moved his fingers, digging them to the ground as with weak, trembling arms, he pushed himself up slightly. His body screamed with pain as he pulled himself out from beneath his comrade, and as soon as he was free, he collapsed down again onto his stomach.

 

♫Sound the bugle now... play it just for me♫

 

With unseeing, empty eyes, Roy gazed at his arm and his hand which were extended out in front of him and his pale fingers which were stained a sickening scarlet.

"I like your coat by the way," Roy remembered stating when he was younger.

It was that first day. The day he met him.

"It's very red. I like the color red."

How ironic.

 

♫As the seasons change, remember how I used to be♫

 

Grant looked up with a tear streaked face as the door opened, and then he ran down the hall and practically leapt into his brother's arms. Roy tightly embraced his trembling form.

"Come here. I know it hurts; yes, I know..." Roy had said in a soothing voice. He put a hand on the back of Grant's head, bringing him close to his thin frame and rubbing his back in a circular motion. "Shhh... you don't have to say a thing. Now why don't we get you cleaned up?" 

 

♫Now I can't go on - I can't even start♫

 

Edward took a few steps before he paused in front of an alleyway when he heard a soft cracking noise. It was a cough- something strangled and forced that made his heart twist in his chest.

Roy's small form lay on its side on the cold ground, and Ed watched as his body twitched violently. Beside his head was vomit, along with two or three empty pill bottles that lay discarded.

He couldn't move- he had no control over the tremors which assaulted his body.

 

♫I've got nothing left, just an empty heart...♫

 

"LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD; MY FAMILY'S IN THERE!" Roy remembered crying as hot tears stung his eyes and streamed down his face. "LET ME GO! OH GOD, LET ME GO!"

He remembered a scream of agony flying from throat as he struggled to free himself from Aigou's clutches, and with dark eyes wide and the glowing fire reflected inside of them, he desperately reached a hand out to the burning house and to Grant who had been trapped inside.

Edward stood in the middle of a cloud of dust and smoke with his hands in the pockets of the red coat that whipped around his slender form. He stared at Roy with eyes cold, and then, without speaking a word, Edward turned his back to him and walked away.

 

♫I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight♫

 

Roy reached down and lifted up the bottom of his shirt. He listened as Ed took in a sharp breath when he caught sight of his pale skin, mottled by with dark bruises that were a multitude of hues, but all colors which should not normally be on someone's skin. Some were green- they were healing- but on top of that were new ones which were a nauseating black, blue, and purple. They were all over- they ran across his stomach and chest and then wrapped around his upper and lower back.

 

♫There's nothing more for me - lead me away...  
...Or leave me lying here♫

 

"All I can do is lay here... and wait for a miracle."

 

♫Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care  
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere♫

 

Somewhere in the distance, rocks moved underfoot as someone picked their way through the rubble and the burning remains of homes. The figure went unheard , the sound that they made drowned by the sharp snapping of lumber, the collapsing of bricks upon one another, and the static popping and hissing of the fire eating their fill.

 

♫Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark♫

 

Roy violently choked on the smoke that coated his lungs before he lay deathly still again.

 

♫Lay right down - decide not to go on♫

 

Havoc and Breda both had turned their backs to the scene and were going to walk back to their base camp, however, something caused them to turn around. Together, they looked up at the sky.

Meanwhile, down below, Maes did the same. His gun fell from his hands and he shaded his cold hazel eyes with one gloved hand.

Riza suddenly stopped shouting and her brown eyes widened as she also gazed upon the sky, watching with awe as the dark clouds that dominated it slowly parted, revealing something that brought tears to her eyes and made a sob catch in her throat as her heart swelled within her like a song.

The sun.

As the sun fell upon Roy's form, with a bowed head, he forced himself to his hands and knees. And as he looked off into the horizon, his eyes which were formerly vacant were slowly filled with light upon the vision's approach.

 

♫Then from on high - somewhere in the distance♫

 

The world went quiet for the first time in an eternity. The fires died and the clouds parted as slowly Edward approached, his crimson coat flapping behind him in the wind like a phoenix's wings. With his hands in his pockets and a soft expression on his face, he dragged the the sun along behind him.

Roy sat on his knees with eyes wide, speechless as the boy picked his way over hills of fallen beams and brick.

 

♫There's a voice that calls, "Remember who you are!"♫

 

Edward stopped before him, the sun shining from directly behind his head serving as a blinding halo.

 

♫If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow♫

 

Roy squinted his tear filled eyes as without a word, Edward put one hand to his thigh and held the other hand out to him.

 

♫So be strong tonight - remember who you are♫

 

Edward's hand remained empty. He instead stumbled back slightly, slightly surprise as Roy leapt up and enveloped him in his embrace.

Edward's face softened.

Roy.

He was warm.

"Please..." Edward thought to himself, burying his head in Roy's chest. He could feel his heartbeat.

"Hold me in your tender embrace..." Roy thought. "Your warmth... may it soothe my tortured heart..."

Edward hugged Roy back and closed his eyes.

"It doesn't matter how I can," Ed said softly into Roy's jacket. "It only matter why. And it only matters that I do. I love you. And I'm never leaving you, Roy. And that's a promise."

 

♫Yeah you're a soldier now - fighting in a battle  
To be free once more - yeah, that's worth fighting for♫

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sticks tongue out.* Bleh. That was so cheesy, I could make myself a grilled cheese sandwich. This chapter is actually funny, but you'll only get it if you watched the movie Spirit.


	15. Sweet Dreams

Central City, Amestris. 1918 

 

The sun had sunk beneath the cover of the horizon and a crescent moon had come in its place, standing vigil over the night sky. People at headquarters went their separate ways, either returning to their families or being greeted by a cold and empty apartment.

Roy however did neither. He had fallen asleep at his desk in his office... yet he felt something unusually warm on his back.

Sunlight.

It enveloped him like the warmth of a fire crackling in a fireplace, and it calmed his nerves and his breath, lulling it to sleep as would a mother with child. He heard the grass beneath his legs and the leaves in the tree above whisper. He breathed in the sweet, fresh aroma of clean country soil and he quickly found that he was on a high and rolling hill, sitting with his legs curled beneath him and his back against the strong but weathered trunk of an old maple tree.

It all felt so familiar, like he had been sitting in that same exact place before.

He was sure he hadn't.

He leaned the back of his head against the trees trunk and closed his eyes for a moment.   
Looking at the backs of his eyelids, the sound of grass being pressed down underfoot tickled his ears like a giggle. A warm, heavy breath that was not his own brushed against the bare skin on his neck and trailed upward, lingering by his lips.

Roy finally opened his eyes.

And to his surprise, they met someone else's. They were gold like the sunlight that streamed through the leaves and low hanging branches above them. The young man's long blonde hair fell over his shoulders and shone in the light, framing his face like a halo.

Edward was sitting very close to Roy, and Roy could feel the palms of his mismatched hands gently pressing against his chest.

A small smile spread across Roy's face- small, but genuine. One might be able to call it a peaceful smile. It was the sort of smile that one gives when they're bobbing along in the calm, crisp waters of dreaming.

Roy suddenly had an urge to run his fingers through Edward's cascading waterfall of liquid gold hair, and he gave in to his desire. It was silky and soft, but that was no surprise. He put a hand against one of Edward's flushed cheeks, and with a surprisingly sweet smile, Edward leaned into it and let out a soft, happy breath. His smile fell however, and his lips were left slightly parted as his eyes became transfixed on Roy's gaze, searching and mirroring the eyes which bore into them.

Roy spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Tell me... are you trying to save my soul, Edward Elric?"

An anxious shiver went down his spine as without a word, Edward threaded his flesh hand through the dark hair at the base of his neck and then moved slightly upward, stopping at the back of his head.

Onyx eyes widened slightly, and Roy's heart raced in his chest, sending his head spinning as Edward slowly pulled him closer, tilting his head slightly and closing those golden eyes that he so loved, instead, showing off long blond lashes, curving gracefully upward.

Roy closed his eyes too, and before he knew it, lips interlocked with his own, soft and warm and sweet like honey.

It was slow. It was searching. It was deep. It was chaste. It was innocent. 

That first kiss was perfect in every way, much like the man who had initiated it

A few seconds later, Edward drew his lips away, hovering directly over Roy's, his quiet breath warming his flushed skin.

"...I am your soul," he breathed quietly.

A moment later, Roy closed his eyes, and Edward stayed still as Roy leaned his forehead against his own.

"Oh Ed, where have you been?" Roy whispered softly. "It's been two months since I last saw you."

"I'm... I'm sorry," Ed whispered apologetically. "It couldn't be helped."

"Is this a dream?"

An amused and playful smile spread across face with a glint in eyes to match.

"Of course not, idiot."

Roy slowly sat back on his knees and slowly carded a hand through his hair.

"Your hands... they're shaking," Edward observed, his smile faltering.

"You make me nervous for some reason," Roy said. "A good kind of nervous," he clarified.

Edward's shoulders suddenly hitched upward for a moment as he coughed quietly, keeping his mouth closed so as to not make too much noise. He coughed again, making a quiet hiccup-like sound as he tried to suppress it.

"Are you alright?" Roy asked, suddenly worried.

It was then that Roy noticed something. He paused, concern evident on his face as he looked at Edward's hairline where he noticed a nasty cut that was about two or three inches long. It bled, staining his skin, and some of his hair, a deep red color.

"I'm fine," Edward stated hoarsely with an unusually glassy look in his eyes,

"You're hurt..." Roy concluded, reaching a hand out and touching the skin just below the wound.

"You got water in your ears? I said I'm-"

Edward burst into a fit of violent coughs, turning away and doubling over, placing one palm on the ground and the automail one over his mouth. Edward's shoulders trembled as he tried to catch his breath. A few moments later, Edward sat back on his knees, and breathing heavily, he looked down at his hand.

It was bloody.

Roy's heart skipped a beat as he saw that and the thin trail of blood running down from the corner of his mouth, traveling over his pale chin.

Edward still panted and stared down at his hand. A few seconds later, his unfocused eyes lifted and met Roy's.

The scene changed.

Roy was standing in a large, dimly lit cavern. A few yards away, Edward stood with with sweat beaded on his brow, his face angry and bloodied and his black t-shirt torn. The young alchemist bared his teeth as he clapped his hands together, electric blue alchemic energy fizzing and crackling around his hands as he brought them forcefully down upon the ground, lighting up the darkness and splitting the earth below him, sending four or five pillars of rock shooting upward at high speed to his shadow shrouded attacker who leapt down from above.

"BROTHER!" Roy heard Alphonse scream. 

Edward's limp body went skidding back across the floor and a loud crack was heard as his head collided against the concrete wall. Edward lay deathly still, his now unseeing golden eyes frozen wide with surprise.

The scene changed once again and Roy was standing before a large doorway made of stone, set upon an empty plain of white, and in the blink of an eye, he was standing on the cobblestone streets of Central City, looking up just as a sniper on a rooftop aimed his gun at a military officer dressed in blue, a small unknowing smile on the officer's face as he went about, unaware of his horrible fate.

"HAWK-EYE!!!!!" Roy screamed. 

As a gunshot ripped through the air, Mustang's eyes flew open and he sat up in his chair behind his desk. Panting with eyes wide, he looked around the empty office lit by florescent lights.

It had been a dream.

Roy put his head in his hands and tried to calm his breathing. He had shouted Hawkeye's name aloud, hadn't he?

Screaming her name in the night came as neither a surprise nor an embarrassment to him.

As a child, Roy had suffered from frequent nightmares, and when he woke up crying, his mother would always be there to hold him and wipe away his tears. During the war, Roy would wake up screaming, but more often than not, no one came to his aid. If the other soldiers heard his cries, they didn't do a single thing about it. They would simply wake in their beds and stare at the sky until sleep fell upon them again. After the war, Roy would wake up screaming also, but he knew that Hawkeye was always just a phone call away. This time however, she had been at work late, and when she heard him shout, she came running down the hall.

She skidded to a halt in front of the open door.

"Roy?! Roy, what is it?!"

Roy lifted his head. "I... I'm so sorry, I was just having a bad dream, I... I didn't mean it."

Riza's body relaxed and her look of worry turned into one of sympathy. "I understand," she said calmly. "It's alright, Sir."

Roy let out a ragged breath and put a hand to his head. "Riza, we need to find them..."

Riza knew exactly who he was talking about.

"We're already looking, Roy. We've been looking."

"Then look some more. I have a feeling that something horrible is going to happen."


	16. The Return

Central City, Amestris. 1918

 

It had been snowing nonstop for the last three days, and for that length of time, everyone had been confined indoors. The streets were empty. Shops were closed. No one bothered to wander out into the world of white except for those who worked at headquarters. That is, them and a teenager wearing a bright red coat with a hood over his head. His strides were long and sure, and he almost seemed to glide offer the ice-glazed pavement.

But it was all a facade. He was walking, but his mind was elsewhere. His thoughts were muddled with concern, worry and the need to remain composed guiding his actions rather than actual composure and self assuredness.

The teen eventually wiped his black, snow covered boots on the front mat of the military building and showed the woman at the front desk a State Alchemist's pocket watch. After a few minutes of talking, she eventually let him through.

He kept his hood up as he walked down the hall, his wet boots squeaking loudly with protest on the tile floor. He approached another desk and had a very similar conversation before he spoke to a lower ranking officer who stood guard in front of Roy Mustang's office. They also had a similar conversation, however, before letting him on in, a joke was exchanged and the guard chuckled softly with amusement. The man's laughter was heard from inside of the office as the doors were pushed open.

Mustang sat at his desk. Riza stood beside him. Havoc lounged on the sofa in the corner of the room. They all looked up as the door closed with a soft click behind him.

"Good afternoon, Colonel," the stranger said in an oddly familiar tone used amongst friends. "It's awfully cold today isn't it? But... I have to say, I really don't mind."

Mustang could tell from the stranger's voice that it was a teen nearing adulthood. He was about the same height as Edward, maybe a inch or two taller, but not of the same build. And he had entered the room quietly too.

"You're not Edward Elric," Roy concluded, the sound of his deep and authoritative voice hanging heavy in the air. "Who are you exactly, and what is your order of business?"

"We found it," the teen answered bluntly.

Havoc sat up in his seat and lifted an eyebrow.

"You found what?" he asked curiously with eyes narrowed.

The young man lifted a hand and drew back his hood, revealing honey-colored eyes below which were dark circles from lack of sleep. His long dirty blonde hair was tied in a ponytail in the back.

He didn't look like he was any more than seventeen or eighteen years old.

He blinked before speaking again, looking at Roy with a piercing and steady gaze as if he were the only person in the room. Roy had seen that same gaze in the empty soul fire eyes trapped within Alphonse Elric's armor helmet.

"We did it," Al stated calmly. "We found the Philosopher's Stone."

Roy's mouth fell open slightly. Riza's eyes widened. Havoc's unlit cigarette fell out of his mouth and landed upon the floor.

"It's nice to see everyone," Alphonse said with a weak smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's been a while."

"Alphonse?" Roy said breathlessly.

Al's face became solemn as the room was consumed by yet another silence. Hawkeye was the first one to wake up from the daze that had been brought upon all of them.

"Excuse me for asking," she said hesitantly, "but if you're here, then... then where's Edward?"

Roy's eyes widened as he felt something wrench within his chest.

Alphonse clasped his hands behind his back and looked down at this feet. "The Philosopher's Stone... it only had only enough power to bring my body back."

"Then... then what happened to your elder brother?" Hawkeye asked.

"Brother..."

Alphonse paused. "Brother is sick," he stated.

"How sick?" Roy asked, his voice coming out his throat in the form of a hoarse croak.

Alphonse shut his mouth and diverted his eyes, moving them elsewhere. Roy's heart sank to his feet.

"Alphonse, look at me," Roy said softly. "Just how sick is Ed?"

Alphonse looked up with a pained face and glassy eyes.

"Very" he whispered. "He's in the hospital right now. If I had come back the way I was supposed to, I would have been very ill- I would have died. And Brother took on that sickness for me, his body is just... It's failing him, Colonel, they... they don't know if he'll make it. They don't know what's wrong and I came here because I thought... I thought he'd like to see familiar faces, just in case he..."

Alphonse paused, giving himself a moment to regain his composure. "He would like to see you all. Especially you, Colonel. He asked for you personally. He... he cares about you."

"Take me to him."

A few minutes later, they were out the door. Since the roads hadn't been plowed, they had to walk, picking their way through the snowdrifts and eventually reaching the public hospital at the other end of Central.

Alphonse led them all to the fifth floor and down to the end of a long corridor.

Like Ed, Roy disliked hospitals. They're places associated with pain and discomfort. The sterile smell of iodoform and cold white walls, ceilings, and floors also contributed to his overall distaste for the place.

A nurse walked out of Edward's room and closed the wooden door behind her just as the group approached it. She stated that visiting hours were over and Ed needed his rest, but she would allow one person to come inside for a minute or two. There was an almost unanimous agreement that Roy be that person.

Roy said that Alphonse should be the one to see his brother, but Al insisted otherwise.

A minute later, the dark haired alchemist gripped the doorknob with a gloved hand and turned it, slowly swinging open the door and stepping inside. It softly shut behind him.

When he saw Edward laying in the bed just across from an ice frosted window, he honestly wanted to throw up.

He felt sick.

Ed looked so horribly small beneath the bed sheets. His cheeks were pale and sunken and his golden eyes which were usually so full of life were now glazed over and lifeless. They were barely open and hidden beneath his long lashes. Over his mouth was fixed a clear plastic breathing mask which fogged up slightly as he tool quiet, shallow breaths. A heart monitor was attached to him, and in his arm, was an IV which was connected to a drip.

Roy watched as Edward's chest rose and fell slowly as he took a ragged breath, but he didn't take another. An agonizing four or five seconds passed before air squeezed between his chapped lips.

"R-r-roy?" Ed said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Roy quickly crossed the room and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed next to Edward.

"I'm right here," he said softly.

Ed's unfocused eyes were looking in the opposite direction, but Roy hesitantly took his hand in his. The gesture caught the young alchemist's attention, and he turned his head slightly so he could look at the older man.

Roy saw the corners of Ed's mouth turn ever so slightly upward.

"Hey," Ed whispered softly.

Roy forced a smile onto his face. "You're not feeling so well, are you Edward?"

Edward chuckled quietly before speaking.

"St-stating the obvious, are we now?"

Roy squeezed Ed's hand slightly. "Shut up and get some rest."

Edward's eyes fluttered closed, and he fell asleep instantly, leaving Roy with nothing to do but listen to his breathing.

And Roy knew.

Roy knew the difference between the breathing of a sick man and the breathing of a dying one.


	17. Before the End

Resembool, Eastern Amestris. 1910

 

Edward fell asleep in the hospital, but when he awoke, he was standing up, and he felt the warm midday sun beating against his back. He realized that he was standing on a dirt path cutting through a sprawling lawn of bright green grass. Eyes wandered down the lane and fell upon a white, two story house, with a green door and a red roof.

Home.

It didn't come to a surprise to Ed though, seeing that house standing there. He'd thought about it before. Roy came to Resembool once, and Ed figured that he'd go there too in the dreams that weren't really dreams. And for some reason, Ed knew deep down that that house was already empty.

Despite the feeling of longing to see the woman who had once lived inside of it and the slight ache that tugged at his chest, Edward saw the fact that it was abandoned as a comfort.

It made things simpler.

With his hands in his pockets, Edward walked up to the house and absentmindedly ran his automail hand over the warped wood of the front door as he then walked to the old oak tree that stood nearby.

And to his surprise, someone was sitting beneath it.

It was Roy. A younger Roy, but not too much younger. Maybe four or five years.

The man was wearing his military uniform and had his eyes closed. Edward was initially caught off guard by how peaceful he looked. It was almost as if he were asleep. Maybe he really was asleep...

Edward slowly made his way over, and as quietly as he could, he lowered himself down onto the grass next to him. He looked over to Roy whose eyes were still closed. Without anything to do, Edward took his hair tie out, quickly smoothed back his golden hair, and stretched the elastic between his fingers, about to put it back in.

A loud snap was suddenly heard as the elastic broke.

Wincing, Edward looked back at Roy.

Still asleep.

The blond deposited the useless piece of elastic into his pocket, and silently, he looked over the rolling fields of green and took in a deep breath of the fresh country air that he loved. He turned his head back to Roy when he heard him mumble something under his breath.

"Roy?" Ed called curiously in a hushed tone. "You awake?"

When he didn't receive an answer, Edward slowly slid closer to Roy, depositing himself directly in front of him. Roy's onyx eyes fluttered open. He didn't seem surprised to see Ed sitting in front of him.

Ed suddenly felt the urge to put his hands on Roy's chest, and so he did.

Roy didn't protest.

And after that, Edward did the most curious thing.

He kissed him on the lips.

And even more curious... Roy kissed him back.

It wasn't a nervous kiss. It wasn't a hesitant kiss, and if it was hesitant, it was only because they wanted to draw it out as long as possible, prolonging something that they knew would end. But otherwise, it was natural. Something warm. And something maybe meant to be.

Afterward, Edward moved to Roy's side and leaned against him, resting his head on Roy's warm shoulder.

"What was that for?" Roy eventually asked in a soft voice.

Edward frowned and let out a quiet sigh. "I'm... I'm running out of time, Roy. I thought...if... oh, I don't know what was thinking. You don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm happy I did it- I'm happy my brother's alright."

They both fell silent.

"What are you doing here?" Edward eventually inquired, although he could already guess the answer.

"The other day, I came here looking for a recruit for the State Alchemist program" Roy replied. "Strangely enough, I found someone who looks exactly like you, and with the same name too. Hawkeye and I stayed at an inn in town overnight, but... I decided to come back here for a while."

"Why'd you come back?"

"For some reason, I got it into my head that if I didn't come to this house... and if I didn't sit underneath this tree... well... I'd never get to see either one again."

Roy paused. "It's silly, isn't it?"

"No. It isn't."

Roy shrugged his shoulders slightly and looked down at Edward with a solemn look on his face.

"You're name is Edward right? But sometimes, I call you Fullmetal... isn't that right?"

Edward looked up at Roy's face. "Of course. Why are you asking?"

"I... I forgot. For just a second."

Edward's eyes widened.

"Since I met Edward... the other Edward... yesterday... I've..."

"You've been forgetting about me," Edward guessed.

Roy closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. He opened them and pulled Edward closer to him.

"Usually I have a vague memory when you leave, but now, even though you're sitting right next to me, I keep on forgetting your name."

Edward's shoulders hitched upward for a moment as he coughed quietly, keeping his mouth closed so as not to make too much noise. He coughed again, making a quiet hiccup-like sound as he tried to suppress it.

"Are you alright?" Roy asked, suddenly worried.

"I'm fine," Edward stated.

"You don't look fine."

"You got water in your ears? I said I'm-"

Edward burst into a fit of violent coughs, turning away and doubling over, placing one palm on the ground and the automail one over his mouth. Edward's shoulders trembled as he tried to catch his breath. A few moments later, Edward sat back on his knees, and breathing heavily, he looked down at his hand.

It was bloody.

Roy's heart skipped a beat as he saw that and the thin trail of blood running down from the corner of Ed's mouth, traveling over his pale chin.

Edward breathed heavily and stared down at his hand. A few seconds later, his eyes lifted and met Roy's.

A sharp, biting pain shot through Edward's chest like electricity. Ed wanted to scream, but instead, he doubled over and gripped the fabric of his shirt over his heart. His vision was starting to be clouded by black and white spots.

"Ed?! What's wrong?!" Roy said in a panicked voice.

"Aw... crap!" Ed hissed through his clenched teeth. "My chest..."

Edward's form flickered once, going transparent for just a fraction of a second. A second later, it happened again, and a sharp and frantic beeping noise of a heart monitor suddenly filled the air of his hospital room, resounding over and over again.

"He's stopped breathing!" Roy Mustang from the present said, backing away from Edward's bedside. "He fell asleep and now he's not breathing!"

"He's flat-lining!" one of the doctors said loudly. "We need to restart his heart!"

With tears in his eyes, Alphonse shouted to his brother and tried to fight his way free out of the grip of one of the orderlies who tried to pull him away from the hospital bed as doctors spilled into the room.

Hawkeye and Havoc were rushed out of the room, and it was then that Roy collapsed without warning.

His eyes simply rolled to the back of his head and his legs have way beneath him, sending him to the floor and clipping the side of his head on the corner of a table on the way down.

"Roy?!" Hawkeye shouted, rushing back in the through the door and going to his side. She quickly shook his shoulders, but received no response.

"Roy!"

"Is he breathing?!" one of the nurses asked quickly as the doctors readied the defibrillator for Ed.

"Yes, I think so!" Hawkeye replied.

"For heaven's sake!" a doctor exclaimed as he worked at pulling off Ed's shirt. "Take him out of here and get me some help- the kid's slipping by the second! Charge it," he called to his coworker behind him. "Hurry- bring it up to 350!"

"Yes, Sir!"

Someone took the breathing mask off of Edward's face. Another put the paddles on Edward's bare chest.

"Clear!"

Edward's back arched like a bow before falling and connecting with the mattress again.

"Still no pulse!"

Havoc came to the orderly's aid and tried to pull the kicking and screaming boy out of the room.

"NO!!! NO, LET ME GO!" Alphonse sobbed. "BROTHER NEEDS ME; LET ME GO!"

"Charging!" one of the doctor's announced.

"All clear?!"

Edward's back arched again as he was pumped with electricity once again.

"Still no pulse!"

One of the doctors pushed the other away and put his gloved hands on Edward's chest and began performing CPR. "I'm starting chest compressions!" he announced, "Aw, come on kid! Stay with me!"

The machines that Ed was hooked up to still blared as each horrible second past and the doctor pumped Ed's chest up and down. There was still no change, and it was a while before anyone spoke.

"Okay, stop compressions," one of the senior doctors said.

Al's heart fell of his stomach.

"Still no pulse,"another doctor stated, taking his hands off of Ed's still chest.

"Okay, that's it. Who's going to call it?"

One of the doctors rolled up the sleeve of their white coat and looked down at their watch.

"Time of death, 10:03 PM."


	18. Stronger

All Places. At All Times

 

As soon as the doctor announced the time of death, Roy felt something wrap tightly around his ankle and tug him downward, straight through the floor and through the ground. And still it pulled him down, falling and spinning through a dark and cloudy void, reaching for the pin-hole of light that shone above, growing smaller and smaller by the second and then disappearing as air screamed through his ears.

In one second, Roy's vision went black, and in the next second, he was blinded by a sharp white light.

He was standing now. 

He could feel the solid ground beneath his feet, but as far as the eye could see, he saw... well, he saw nothing.

He was in a world of white, and the lack of sound in it was deafening. Maddening almost.

He'd experienced hearing loss on the battlefield before. He'd heard one too many machine guns going off up close, and then the day after was a memorable day of terror- a day of living in a constant uneasy silence.

Roy let out a ragged breath, and the sound of air escaping from his throat calmed him slightly. But he felt something else- the odd feeling you get when you're being watched, and so he turned around, his blood going cold as his eyes met a strange, white, faceless figure which grinned, its mouth extending wider than was physically natural.

It stood before a tall and intricately carved doorway made of stone.

The being put one hand on its shadow of a hip and spoke in an echoing, mocking, but strangely familiar, voice.

"Ha-ha! Hey there, Golden Boy!" it chuckled.

Its voice was strange- a combination of voices layered one upon the other... but Roy was able to pick out one distinct voice. His dark eyes widened.

"H-Hughes?!"

The creature cocked its head to the side and spoke in a condescending tone after laughing lightly.

"No, not really! I am what you would call The World. Or perhaps The Universe. Or perhaps God. Perhaps Truth, or perhaps All, or perhaps One. Right now, my form is the not so physical manifestation of your conscience. For a while, Maes Hughes was your conscience, wasn't he, Lee Tim? Your conscience when The Spirit abandoned you? Anyway, since I am All, I am also Maes Hughes, aren't I? And more importantly..."

With a smile, the creature pointed at Mustang with one finger.

"I am also you."

Roy took a step back. "No... What am I doing here; why did you bring me here?!"

"I didn't bring you here! You did this to yourself!"

"What?"

Truth crossed its arms in front of its chest and shook its head in a disapproving way.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk! Foolish, mortal. Time does not exist here. What occurs here reverberates throughout time. Throughout space! Throughout the inside of your Gate and throughout the Gate of everyone who has ever existed. You made this bond all by yourself!"

Roy narrowed his eyes. "Bond?" he repeated questioningly.

Truth pointed a finger downward at Roy's feet. Roy bowed his head, and to his surprise, he found a thick red chord tied around his right boot, tied so tightly that it dug into the black leather.

That was what he had felt earlier. That was what had pulled him down.

Roy followed the cord with his eyes, trying to find its end. The rope snaked back and forth, and went around his back. He turned around and immediately rushed forward upon realizing what was tied to the other end.

"Fullmetal!"

Edward lay on his side on the ground in his hospital gown, and the end of the red cord was tied to his automail ankle. His eyes were closed and his long blond bangs fell over his face. Some color had returned to his cheeks, but he didn't seem to be breathing. Roy dropped down to his knees and desperately shook Ed's shoulder roughly in attempt to wake him up.

To Roy's dismay, Ed didn't respond. Roy paused and looked up when Truth spoke.

"He isn't waking up. He's dead after all, isn't he?!" Truth said happily.

"Bring him back," Roy whispered.

"What did you just say to me?"

"I said bring him back," Roy said in a louder and more authoritative voice. 

Looking down at Edward, he gently pushed a stray lock of blond hair away from his face. "And make him well too..." he added in a softer voice. :I'd give anything- I'd trade my life. He has people who need him. He has people who care about him."

Roy looked back at Truth. "Take my life in exchange for his! That's equivalent exchange, isn't it? A life for a life?"

Truth's laugh sent a chill down Roy's spine. After it was done, it wiped a tear away from what would have been the corner of it's eye.

"I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time! But your life? Not even a being such as myself would want a vile and bloodstained past, present, and future such as yours! There are people who would love to take away your life, Lee Tim, but afterward... ha, they want to throw your remains in the trash. Your life is worthless to me, mortal. You have nothing worth giving to me. And I'd consider that to be of no consequence, because there's nothing I want from you."

"There has to be some way- it just isnt' fair."

"You of all people should know that life isn't fair, Lee," it said bitterly. "You have nothing I want, and there's nothing changing my mind. But perhaps... perhaps you have something that HE wants..."

"Edward?"

"Perhaps you have something of worth to him. Perhaps you're willing to give up something for him. And if you choose wisely, then perhaps... perhaps then I'll grant you your wish."

Edward who lay on the ground didn't move, but elsewhere in that plane of white, another Edward stood.

And like Roy, he also found that he was not alone.

Edward's golden eyes widened as he spotted the person standing before him. His chest tightened, his voice caught in his throat, and he pressed his left hand over his mouth, paying no attention to the hot tears that rolled down his face and crept into the spaces between his fingers as he breathlessly spoke the person's name, his heart swelling within him like a song.

"...Mom?"

Trisha Elric's mouth fell open slightly before a small soft smile spread across her face.

"Oh my..." she said softly, "You're all grown up, aren't you?"

Edward couldn't get his legs to work as he watched his mother approach him, but as a sob caught in his throat, he quickly stepped forward and embraced her with his strong arms, holding her close. 

He was a head taller than her now. 

He buried his face into her soft brown hair and he smelled her sweet perfume that brought forth a flood of memories from long ago.

But more importantly, he could feel her warmth.

She was there. And she was real.

"I love you, Mom," he sobbed. " Al loves you too, we've missed you and I'm sorry... I am so sorry..."

"Shh..." she hushed softly, standing on her tiptoes and resting her chin on his shoulder. She rubbed his back in circles as he cried silently, his shoulders shaking. "Hush now my darling. It's alright."

Edward's arms fell to his sides and he hung his head low as he clenched his jaw, fighting back the tears and trying not to cry out.

"Come here," his mother said, putting her hands on either side of his face and wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "Come now; I want to see that handsome face of yours..."

Edward smiled slightly and chuckled softly, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of his hospital gown. He chuckled slightly. "Look at me, Mom. I'm crying. I'm an ugly, disgusting mess!"

A warm smile spread across Trisha's face. "You're beautiful. You're my beautiful, perfect baby boy," she said with a twinkle in dark green eyes.

Her smile fell, and with a pained look on her face, she ran her fingers through her son's long golden bangs.

"Roy Mustang is trying to bring you back. You know that...right?," she asked softly. "You can sense it? He's willing to pay a hefty price too."

Edward stepped forward again and buried his face in his mother's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her once more.

"No..." he said softly into the fabric of her orchid-colored dress. "I don't want to go back."

"Oh Ed, please don't say that," she said, slowly stepping back slightly so she could see his face. "You're still so young. You have a lot of growing to do still, don't you?"

She put a hand on Edward's automail arm, and upon feeling the metal underneath his shirt, she drew her hand slightly back in surprise, but she gently rested her hand on top of it again. Edward took his left hand and put it in top of hers, wanting to feel her touch and her warmth. He closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts.

"Ever since you... Ever since I..." Edward paused and shut his eyes tighter, but still, tears escaped.

"I have endured twelve years of pain," he sobbed. "Please... get him to give up on me, and please, just make it end. I've fixed things with Al, but the guilt... it's still there. And in the end...I always end up losing people."

Hughes. Nina. Pinako. So many people taken away.

Trisha put a hand back on Edward's cheek. He leaned into it and with puffy, pink eyes, he looked back at his mother as she spoke.

"Live, Darling. The thought of seeing you go makes my heart ache. But know that I'll be happy. And I'll be smiling. You see, time stands still here, but in the land of the living, you can move forward. And with every step you take, you become stronger. In order to love others you must first be able to love yourself. In order to forgive others, you must be able to forgive yourself, and in order to protect the people you love and see them become strong... you must become strong. There are people you want to help become strong, aren't there?"

Al, Roy, Winry...

"This is your second chance to grow, Ed, and become even stronger than you already are. And with that strength...you can made a whole world of a difference."

"Aw, how sweet," Truth said enthusiastically, putting a hand to the left side of it's chest. "You didn't voice it aloud, but your decision has been heard. Roy Mustang... and Edward Elric..."

"I'm so proud of you, Edward." Trisha said with an earnest smile, her eyes welling with tears. "I'm proud of both of my boys. I'm so very proud... "

Edward put a hand over his mouth, still holding his mother's hand tightly with the other. He shook his head. "I don't ever wanna let you go, Mom!"

Truth shifted it's weight and with a lopsided grin, it saluted to Roy as the world became darker and darker.

"Farewell! ...For now, at least!"

One of the doctors rolled up the sleeve of their white lab coat and looked down at their watch.

"Time of death, 10:03 PM," they announced.

Two or three seconds later, Edward suddenly sat up in the the hospital bed, wide eyed and letting out a loud gasp for air. All of the doctors jumped back in surprise.

"WHAT THE-"

Roy had come around only a second ago, and Riza was helping him up. He was able to look on as the look on Edward's face changed from a look of surprise to something a hundred times worse.

Roy would never forget the look that washed over Edward's face. The loss of breath and the look of complete and utter anguish at having something you held in your hands violently ripped away from you in the blink of an eye.

"Edward, are you alright?!" Havoc asked worriedly.

Alphonse, who had previously been crying, flew out of Havoc's grasp, and pushing past the doctors, he went to Ed's beside. Everyone stiffened as Edward received a fist to the face that knocked him back into reality.

"AGH!" Ed shouted, holding his now swelling cheek. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, AL?!"

"DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Alphonse shouted, gripping his elder brother's shoulders tightly.

When Ed saw his younger brother's lower lip quiver and his face contort with pain, he put a hand to the back of Al's head and drew him close.

"I th-thought I'd lost you..." Al said shakily into Ed's shoulder. "I was so scared, I thought you had left me alone... I was so scared..."

Edward closed his eyes and patted his brother's back.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I greatly dislike this story, but I am determined. I'm going to edit this story and republish the rest of this stupid thing in one stupid night both here and on Wattpad. I'm getting this story out of my life...


	19. Freedom

Central City, Amestris. 1919

 

It was morning and Roy and Edward were alone in the hospital room. Roy sat at the edge of Ed's bed, reading a book Alphonse had gotten for him and waiting for Ed to wake up after having fallen asleep about a half an hour earlier.

With his nose in the book, Roy hadn't noticed that Ed opened his eyes and was now staring at his back. He was caught slightly off guard when Ed finally spoke, saying something that he'd only said once before in his life.

"Thank you, Mustang."

Roy turned around and faced him. When he saw that Ed was awake, a small smile of relief spread across his face.

"You don't have to thank me," he said, closing his book and putting it to the side.

"Yes, I do," Ed said in a firmer voice. "Thank you, Mustang. For everything."

A small smile spread across Edward's face, and Roy suddenly thought back in the look he saw on his countenance seconds after he had come back from the world of white.

"Hey. When you came back... I couldn't help but notice that you looked awfully upset. Did you happen to see anything when you were in that other place?"

Edward lowered his eyes before he spoke.

"I saw my mother just as she was when she was alive and well. She told me that you were the one responsible for bringing me back to life again, but..." he looked upward. "What exactly did you do? What did you give up?"

"God, Truth, or whatever you call it, actually allowed me to choose what I would give in exchange."

"Really?"

"Yes. Saying that I didn't have anything of worth to it, it asked me to give something to you instead. It spoke about something called a Gate. And it explained that when you die, this Gate slowly crumbles. As time passes, it becomes harder and harder to bring back the dead. Your Gate was crumbling, and it was going fast. And so, as a result, I decided to give you this," Roy said, putting a hand to the left side of his chest.

Edward's eyes widened. "What?!" he exclaimed, quickly sitting up. "How are you even alive right now?!"

"Not my actual heart, Ed, my soul. Or my spirit. And so with that, I gave you my Gate, and it was used in order to repair yours. We now share a Gate, and that made a certain bond between us that transcends time... according to Truth at least. That's why you were there at different points in my life- in South Ammyr, in Ishval, in Resembool..."

"You remember then."

"Remembering to be more accurate. Things are becoming clearer little by little."

Edward suddenly realized something.

"But... But you can't perform alchemy without a Gate, you know that right?! But I have your Gate, so it's still there, but can you still perform alchemy?!"

"I know," Roy said softly. "And I can't. I can't do it anymore."

Edward's heart fell to his feet. "Yes you can!" he said suddenly with a wild look in his eyes. "You're the Flame Alchemist for goodness sake! Show me! Try it right now!"

Roy didn't move a muscle. Ed reached out a hand and swiftly grabbed Roy's gloves out of his breast pocket. He held them out to him. "Were you listening?! I said show me, Bastard!"

Without a word, Roy hesitantly reached out and took them. Ed watched expectantly as he slipped one white glove onto his right hand.

"You have to do the other one too," Ed demanded. "You have to do it right!"

Roy obeyed and put the other glove onto his left hand. Edward held his breath, as with a solemn look on his face, Roy raised his right hand and positioned his fingers in preparation to snap.

They stayed still for a moment. And then a faint clicking sound echoed though the room, followed by nothing.

Nothing at all.

Roy watched as a wide-eyed Ed turned as pale as the sheets his legs were tucked beneath. Ed wanted to throw up.

"You did it for me," Ed whispered with horror. "I did this. It's all my fault. It's all my fault..."

"What?! Ed no, look at me!" Roy said quickly, taking a firm hold of Ed's shoulders. "It's alright! Really, it is."

Letting out a shaky breath, Edward carded his shaking fingers through his golden hair. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. "It's alright? How could it be alright?! This is your research, this is what you've spent twenty odd years of your life perfecting, this is who you are, and you love it Mustang, I know you do! This is everything to you!"

"You're wrong, Ed."

Edward's eyes widened.

"I'm happy," Roy said.

As he said those words, a small smile spread across his face, because deep down, he knew it was true.

"I'm really happy," he repeated.

Ed was alive and well. And it was over. It was all over.

He'd miss it of course. But in many ways, his abilities were also burden to him.

And with that burden lifted... Roy Mustang was finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been skipping fencing practice (for months) in favor of writing and reading fanfiction and wasting time on Tumblr and Sparklife. My parents will not be happy... if they ever find out that is. 
> 
> Update: It's seven or eight months later, and I'm still living a lie.


	20. The 520 Cens Promise

Central City, Amestris. 1919

 

It was a sunny spring day without a single cloud hanging in the sky.

A man wearing rectangular wire glasses on his freckled nose stepped off of the train at the station in Central, carrying a carpet bag in hand. He pulled his cap down over his short tawny brown hair and hazel eyes before he called out to a young girl, of four years of age, who hopped off of the train and landed on the concrete.

"Come, Liliana," Grant Albright said, holding a hand out to his daughter. "We wouldn't want you to get lost, would you?"

The young girl nodded happily, and taking her father's hand, they disappeared in the crowd. Being unfamiliar with the city, they headed in the direction of the ticket booth to ask for directions to a certain address.

From the train car that the man had exited from later came a blue-eyed blonde who excitedly ran through the crowd and leapt into into the arms of Alphonse who had anxiously been waiting for her.

"Al!" Winry cried happily as he spun her around once.

Alphonse chuckled, setting her down on her feet. "W-Winry! It's so very nice to see you too!"

Winry planted a light kiss on his left cheek. Alphonse smiled sheepishly as his face turned cherry red.

Meanwhile, Riza Hawkeye sat at a table outside of a cafe. Across from her sat Jean Havoc. With a frown, Riza quickly reached over the table and plucked the unlit cigarette out from between his lips and tossed it into the trash can a few feet away. Jean pouted, but with a fork in hand, Riza leaned over her plate and the bouquet of flowers he had brought for her and fed him a piece of cake which he chewed with a satisfied smile.

Roy sat in a chair next to Edward's bed in the hospital as Ed sat up against the pillows, greedily eating his way through a bowl of shrimp and white rice.

"It's good that you've gotten your appetite back, but do you really think that you should be eating that, Fullmetal?" Roy questioned worriedly.

Edward put his fork down on his tray, swallowed his food, and eyed Roy curiously. "What's wrong with it?" he asked.

"Wouldn't eating shrimp be considered cannibalism or something?"

"I'M NOT A SHRIMP!!!" Edward cried.

Roy chuckled to himself. "I know, I know... I'm just playing with you! You're adorable, you know that?"

"I'M NOT ADORABLE, I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN!" 

Edward crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. "You've been waiting for the day you'd catch me eating shrimp, just so you could say that, haven't you?!"

"Yep," Roy said, popping the 'p'.

"Anyway, what have you been doing while Al and I were gone? That is, other than thinking of ways that you can undermine the lives of hospitalized innocents."

Roy blinked as if he had been caught off guard by Edward's question.

"You don't know?" he asked with disbelief.

"No..." Ed said, looking off to the side. "Should I?"

"Well for one thing, I've been looking for you, Fullmetal!" Roy said, raising his voice. "I was worried, I was losing sleep and I was losing weight, and let me get this straight, you read alchemy texts for hours on end, but you don't take a minute to look at the paper?!"

"Well forgive me, I was busy dying!"

"Still, you must have heard people talking about it!"

"I've been getting whipped back and forth between the past and present, and let me remind you, my heart stopped, Mustang! Give me a goddamn break and tell me what's going on that I don't know about!"

Without a word, Roy stood up and crossed the room, heading toward a table in the corner where an orderly had left the morning paper. Roy picked it up and flipped to a page before he went back and handed it to Ed. Ed took it and scanned the first page.

"Anti-Piracy Group Accused of Stealing Photo Used in Anti- Piracy Ad," Edward read. "Huh. Ironic, isn't it?"

"No, below that."

"I knew that," Ed grumbled. His eyes went back to the paper and the dropped down to the article beneath it.

"Okay, so it says that Bradley's gone missing... yeah, I heard about that..."

Ed's eyes suddenly widened.

"Aw, no wonder why you're acting so goddamn cocky! You're a general now! And not only that..." Ed put a hand to his bandaged forehead, "You're in the running to become Fuhrer!"

"That's right!" Roy said with a pleased smile.

Edward let out a loud sigh. "Oh well! Too bad it ain't gonna happen!" Ed sung, tossing the paper to the side. "Nobody is gonna want your ugly mug in office."

Roy leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "You don't believe that, do you Ed?" he hummed softly.

Ed's cheeks turned a warm shade of pink. Mustang chuckled, and Edward playfully elbowed him in the side.

"Shut up, Bastard! The statement still stands. But how about this; let's make a bet. Remember how I borrowed 500 cens from you a while ago? And I didn't pay you back and you were all up on my case?"

"It was 520 cens!" Roy said loudly, correcting him. "Don't con me now..."

"I'm not conning you! Anyway, when you become fuhrer I'll give you your money back!"

"I think that I deserve a whole lot more than 520 cens for becoming fuhrer," Roy said playfully.

"What do you want then?"

"Your hand in marriage, of course!" Roy said jokingly.

"Alright," Edward replied.

Roy froze and stopped breathing, as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. He blinked once. He blinked twice.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say?"

Edward looked down, suddenly taking an interest in his hands which were folded in his lap. His face turned beet red.

"Are you going deaf or something? I said... I said alright. Obviously not now, of course... but later. Maybe a LOT later, well sometime before you start going bald, but..." Edward looked up at Mustang, his face serious and no longer flushed. "I mean... if you want to... and if you'll take me, then, well... alright. I'd marry you."

Roy closed his mouth which was formerly hanging open. He blinked his eyes. Two or three seconds passed and no words were exchanged.

"For goodness sake!" Ed said loudly, "Don't sit there like a fucking dipshit! Say something already!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next will be the third to last chapter in a three part ending extravaganza! JK about the extravaganza, but we're almost at the finish line, people! But don't think that the action is over just yet- I'm going to end this fanfic with a bang!
> 
> *whispers* Say no, Mustang...


	21. All Hell Breaks Loose

Central City, Amestris. 1919 

 

"No," Roy said into the telephone, "but maybe later. Yes, if Havoc has his act together by then. Well, goodbye for now, Riza."

With that, Mustang hung up and walked out of the kitchen.

Edward had been out of the hospital for about a month. He had been in for about two. He now sat down on a chair in Roy's living room and pulled a pair of tall black boots up over his blue uniform pants as Roy walked in and sat down across from him.

Ed wiggled his toes. The new military-issued boots were roomy, and polished too. He had to admit... he sort of liked them. Maybe even better than his old ones.

Roy was scheduled to give a public address that day. It was a big to do, and for weeks, people around the city had been talking about what they wanted to hear from their soon-to-be fuhrer. Military personnel were required to attend wearing full uniform, and a selected few, including Hawkeye, Breda, Havoc, Al, and Ed himself, were given the duty of keeping the crowd under control and the area free of any suspicious activity.

They were expecting a big turnout.

Edward looked across the room at the grandfather clock standing against the wall. They were expecting a big turnout in an hour, to be exact.

"Mustang?" Edward called to the man sitting across from him on the sofa. "We need to go."

Roy didn't answer or even lift his head. He had his nose buried in a handful of note cards which he was studying for about the hundredth time in the last four hours. He was obviously worried that he would mess something up.

Ed couldn't blame him.

"Hey! Roy!" he called.

Ed frowned when he still didn't get an answer.

"Yo! Earth to General Mustang!"

Roy narrowed his eyes and looked up with a slightly disoriented look on his face. "Hm? What was that?"

"Time to go."

Roy's eyes fell back down to his note cards. "You look good in uniform..." he mumbled, putting a card to the back of the pile and studying what was written on the next one. "We had that tailored for you; why do you never wear it?"

"Because it makes me look like a dog, that's why," Ed replied bitterly. "Now put your damn notes down, Bastard, or we'll be late! You'll do fine, just as long as you keep your head on straight. Don't go mental on us now..."

Smiling to himself, Roy tucked the stack of cards into his pant pocket. "I'll try my best."

"That's the spirit!"

Standing up, Roy picked up Ed's blue cap off of the coffee table and placed it crookedly (and backwards) on the blond's head before putting his hands in his pockets and going out the door. With a frown, Ed took off the cap and smoothed back his hair before putting it on the right way.

Traffic was at a standstill, and so their best bet was to navigate their way through the crowds of people that made their way to the square where a temporary wooden stage had been set up

Traffic was at a standstill, and so their best bet was to navigate their way through the crowds of people that made their way to the square where a temporary wooden stage had been set up. Ed made Roy put on his cap in order to lessen the possibility that he would be picked out of the crowd. Despite the heavy foot-traffic, they still made it there half an hour early, and so they both went a nearby shop where the people speaking were supposed to wait. Before Roy went inside alone, Ed wished him luck, and Roy jokingly said that he wouldn't need it. Roy then complained that he didn't want to be left alone with a bunch of old geezers, and Ed countered by saying that with him being an old geezer himself, he would fit right in.

With that, Ed left and attended a short briefing with the others from the office before attending to his duty, circling around the perimeter and reuniting lost, snot-nosed children with their mothers and fathers.

The sea of people gathered around the stage grew by the minute. After a while, Edward found it almost impossible to move around without bumping into someone or stepping on someone's toes. He eventually went of to the side to get some air.

He looked at the time on his pocket watch.

Eleven minutes till start time.

It was when he looked up that he spotted two lieutenants that he recognized from headquarters. They were pushing their way through the crowd, and one of them was holding a long black shotgun while the other was firmly gripping the upper arm of a tall man with long white hair and dark ruby-colored eyes. The Ishvalan made no attempt to escape and walked along with a small, smug grin on his face.

The three individuals stopped in front of Ed.

"What's hell's going on?" Ed asked firmly, narrowing his eyes and depositing his watch back into his pocket.

"We caught this guy in possession of a military grade shotgun in the third floor window of that building over there," the blonde lieutenant with the gun said, pointing to the building behind them. "The area isn't secure- we need to get the general out of here, immediately."

The Ishvalan scoffed with amusement, and something snapped inside of Ed. In the blink of an eye, Ed roughly grabbed the man by his shirt collar.

"Hey! Are there more of you?" Ed said loudly, demanding an answer.

Without saying a word, the Ishavalan's patronizing grin grew wider. Ed clenched his teeth angrily. No one who tried to hurt Roy would get off easily.

"Answer me, dammit!" Ed growled. "Are there more of you?!"

The man still didn't answer. Ed shoved him away and wrinkled his nose with disgust as the female lieutenant handcuffed him.

"Aw fuck, just get the Colonel... I mean the General... to a safe location," Ed said tiredly to two officers.

"That's the problem, sir," the freckled officer admitted, "we have no idea where he is!"

"You, what?!"

"The General had specific instructions to stay by his guards, but he must have wandered off on his own and he-"

Ed didn't stay to hear the rest. He simply started running away, quickly pushing his way through the crowd, headed to the other side of the marketplace where he knew Hawkeye and a few others were on patrol. Soon enough, he felt someone grab his arm and he skidded to a halt. Ed looked up at the tall blond who had grabbed him.

"Hey, Chief," Havoc said with a concerned look on his face. "Where's the fire?"

"Havoc!" Ed exclaimed. It was just the person he needed. "Havoc, I need you to round up as many people as you can, and you get everyone out of here!"

"What's goin' on?"

"We caught an Ishvalan gunman in the window of an apartment building. There may be more and Mustang just disappeared off of the face of the earth; please... tell me you know where he is!"

"Gee, I've got no clue! But trust me, I'll look."

Ed backed away as Havoc gave him a quick salute. "Go!" he shouted. "Now!"

Ed talked to a few more officers who in turn, spread the word in hushed tones. Civilians were starting to become a bit panicked and uneasy as soldiers hurried them away, telling them to either find shelter inside of nearby shops and restaurants or quickly head home.

A little girl holding her mother's hand pointed one chubby finger at the rooftops across the street. Edward followed her finger and spotted five or six dark shapes holding firearms running across the practically connected rooftops.

Ed needed to stop them, he needed to get up there quickly, but...

He looked down at the large crowd of civilians rushing in all directions on the ground below.

Come on, Ed, think!

Edward quickly clapped his hands, skidded to a halt, and pressed his hands to cobblestone. The ground shook slightly below him as he transmuted the stone and rock beneath it into a bridge which shot out toward the rooftops at the other side of the square with him riding on top of it. Ed heard people shouting from below, and when he looked down, he spotted a young blond in uniform with several others following him as he rushed into one of the buildings, probably headed toward the rooftops. Ed watched as Alphonse glanced up at him before entering the building.

When the edge of the rooftop grew closer, Edward quickly leapt off of the transmuted bridge and landed doing a forward roll. The group of Ishvalans were still running, leaping from one roof to the next. Ed took off after them, pumping his arms, the wind whistling in his ears. And just as he reached the edge, he launched himself off of the roof and into the air. He pin wheeled his arms, propelling himself forward, and then he expertly landed on the other side.

Upon hearing the sound of Ed's feet coming into contact with the cement roof, the Ishvalans paused and looked behind them just as Ed clapped his hands and pressed them into ground, transmuting a four foot tall cannon which he perched on top of with a playful grin in his face.

"Ha! You can run, but ya sure can't hide!"

The group of Ishvalans grew pale and in vain, they started to run away just as a cannonball crashed into one of them, sending them all toppling down into an enormous heap.

Strike!

Ed's moment of victory was short lived. He turned his head as he heard a series of gunshots being fired down on the ground below, followed by screams. Quickly, the shots were returned.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw a blond-haired, golden-eyed teen dressing blue quickly look over his shoulder as he ran toward him.

"Alphonse! What are you-"

With a terrified look in his face, Al reached a hand out to his elder brother even though he was too far away to reach. "ED, GET DOWN!" he shouted quickly.

A loud crack split the air and a fraction of a second later, a sharp, pained cry erupted from Edward's throat as he felt something bite him in the leg, the shock sending him crashing down to the ground.


	22. The Heavy

Central City, Amestris. 1919 

 

Alphonse ignored the Ishavalan who ran away after having fired the shot. He instead skidded to a halt and dropped down beside his brother. "Ed! Are you alright?!" he shouted, putting a hand on Ed's shoulder as he slowly sat up, gripping his right thigh.

"Agh... ha..." Ed breathed through his clenched teeth. He brought his trembling hand away from his leg and looked down at the slick, warm, crimson blood that covered it. "Aw...crap..." he hissed, dropping his hand, his shoulders heaving. "Shit..."

Upon getting a good look at the open wound, Alphonse's stomach did a somersault. "Oh gee, Ed, we need to get you some help!" he cried, quickly taking off his own jacket.

"I'm fine..." Ed said sharply, unclenching his teeth for just a moment as Al balled up the fabric and put it against the wound.

Ed shut his eyes tightly and hissed with pain, putting his bloody hand to his clammy forehead. At first, the wound simply stung like a bad bee sting, but after having actually looked at the hole in his leg, it felt ten times worse.

It wasn't unbearable though. Adrenaline was doing it's job.

"I'm fine, it's only a scratch," Ed said. "Just find Mustang!"

"Press this here," Al said, taking Ed's hand in his and pressing it against the fabric that was pressed against his bleeding leg. "It didn't hit your femoral artery," Al explained, "but it still looks pretty bad. I think the bullet's still in there though- that's good- its stopping a lot of the blood."

"No, it only clipped me! Go and- agh..."

Ed's shoulder's pitched forward.

Al lifted Edward's foot up onto his knee and tore apart his own white collared shirt, revealing a black undershirt beneath. He made the shirt into a bandages which he tied tightly around his brother's upper leg. Ed took in sharp inhalations of pain, his breath rattling slightly. Al then moved to his brother's side, put a hand on Ed's upper back, and slipped an arm beneath his legs, shakily standing and lifting his brother up bridal style.

Ed squirmed in protest in his arms, but he stopped because of a sharp pain that shot up his lower back.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Ed said loudly. "Put me down, Al!"

"Stop moving, Ed!" Al said, stumbling back slightly. "You're hurt- you don't want to bleed to death do you?!"

Alphonse's heart then twinged with sympathy when he heard his elder brother whimper softly. Ed was in more pain than he let on.

Reluctantly Ed put an arm over Alphonse's shoulder as they headed to the stairs.

"You alright? Aren't I heavy?" Edward asked in a concerned voice as Al stopped on the landing to steady him in his arms.

Ed was slim in figure, and even slimmer because of his time in the hospital, but the automail made a whole lot of a difference.

Alphonse continued walking down the stairwell. "No," he replied softly. "You aren't heavy."

"Aw, I sure as hell am. Quit lyin' and put me down already."

"I'm not going to leave you bleeding out in a stairwell, Ed. Just keep on talking so I know you're not going into shock."

Ed shut his mouth and he was quiet for a few seconds. Alphonse stopped walking and looked down at the bandage which was now saturated with blood. He then looked down at his brother's face, and seeing that his eyes were closed, he shook Ed slightly.

"Hey! You still with me?"

Ed let out a soft breath and blinked open his eyes. "Mm... mMyeah," he said in a slightly slurred voice. "I just don't know what to talk about."

Alphonse and Edward made it to the first floor of the apartment building and entered the lobby where a few people had come inside for shelter when the hailstorm of gunfire had broken out. A family of four huddled behind a sofa at one corner of the room. In a nearby hallway, a mother held a crying baby in her arms. The doorman and a few others huddled behind the area where the front desk was situated.

No one spoke. The air was already occupied by the sound of shouts and gunfire outside.

Alphonse squatted down with Ed in his arms and gently set him down on the floor, letting him sit up against the wall across from the one with floor to ceiling windows. Edward's face now had a sweaty sheen and his skin felt cool to the touch.

"I'm... I'm not feeling so good..." Edward whispered, watching five officers in blue rush past the window with guns in hand.

"How does the wound feel exactly?" Al asked, squatting down beside him. "Can you feel anything?"

Edward turned his eyes to Al as the floor seemed to tilt to the left. "Burns... like hell," he muttered, letting out a ragged breath.

Alphonse turned his head to the window as the air was split by a piercing cry, but he quickly looked back at Ed when he felt an automail hand on his shoulder. 

"It's a madhouse out there..." Ed stated softly. "What's goin' on?" He clenched his teeth painfully and shook his head slightly. "This wasn't supposed to happen, Al," he said with an almost pleading look in his eyes. "This wasn't supposed to happen..."

"I know."

The gunshots were getting closer. And a second later, the child hiding behind the desk with her family screamed sharply as the glass window suddenly blew inward, sending a spray of sharp, icy shards flying toward them. Alphonse cowered, putting his hands and arms over his face and lurching forward slightly, putting himself between Ed and the window.

The glass made a quiet tinkling sound as it rained down upon the wooden floor. Another shot was heard and Alphonse clapped his hands and quickly brought his palms down upon the floor, causing a wall of concrete to rise up outside, blocking the windows and plummeting the large room into darkness.

The baby in the hallway cried louder. Ed heard Al's heavy breath, and in the dim light coming from the crack below the front doors, he saw Al reach a hand up and touch his left cheek. He hissed in pain and quickly brought his fingers away.

"Cut your cheek?" Ed guessed.

"Yeah. Glass is still in there."

Both boys tensed up when outside, they heard a familiar voice. It was Havoc. And he screamed a familiar name at the top of his lungs in a horrified voice.

"HAWK-EYE!!!!!"

Edward's heart raced in his chest. Alphonse drew the gun that Hawkeye had given him a while ago, and standing, he snapped off the safety.

"Al..."

"Stay here, Brother. I promise, I'll come back for you, I promise, I'll bring help."

Edward grit his teeth and whimpered softly as he tried to move and stand up. "Al... d-don't go."

"I'll be back," Al said, backing away. "I promise."

Ed watched as his younger brother ran to the door. Light flooded the room as the door was opened and Al exited.

Pressing a hand to his blood-soaked bandage, Edward cried out as he shifted, curling his legs beneath him. Tears began to run down his cheeks as he leaned against the wall and slowly stood himself up. He wanted to scream. The adrenaline was wearing off and now he could feel the cold, wet blood flowing out of his leg, as well as the hot bullet inside of him. It felt like someone lit a piece of charcoal and just let it sit there inside him.

Grinding his teeth together and breathing heavily, Edward stumbled forward, taking a few slow steps before he stumbled into the doorway which he leaned his body against. Directly out the door, an Ishavalan lay face-down on the concrete, blood leaking out of the hole in the side of her head.

Edward froze at the sight. He stared and his chest heaved as his bloody fingers reached down beneath his shirt collar, drawing out a delicate silver chain dangling from the bottom of which was a silver band.

An engagement ring.

Subconsciously fingering the band and clutching it to his chest, Edward forced himself to stumble forward, limping as he slowly made his way down the street toward where dozens of similarly dressed military dogs ducked behind an alchemically-made concrete barrier, shooting their guns at unseen targets in the distance.

Edward tripped over his feet as the ground tilted to the left and then to the right. He regained his balance by stopping and pressing his back against the side of a building. It was then that he looked to the right, past the bodies of two Central policeman, at an object on the ground- a blue cap. Specifically, the blue cap he had given to Mustang.

Somehow Ed knew it was his.

Ed let go of his engagement ring and let out a sharp, pained cry as he started limping in that direction. 

He took one agonizing step. He took another. 

And then his leg caved out from underneath him, sending him falling forward to the ground, his head colliding with the concrete. He shut his eyes tightly as he rolled over, opening his mouth and silently screaming as the world went silent for a moment, followed by a high pitched ringing that resounded in his ears and pierced through his skull.

With his body trembling and blood running down his pant leg and the side of his face, Edward regained his hearing and pushed himself onto his hands and knees. The world went dark for a moment as he stood himself up yet again and moved forward past the hat which lay abandoned on the ground.

In the distance he could hear people talking in hushed tones.

Ed approached the entrance of an alleyway. He stopped and his golden eyes met an Ishvalan's back. The Ishavalan had his hand raised- he was holding a handgun, and it was aimed at the chest of dark-haired, dark-eyed man who had his bare hands raised in the air at either side of his head in surrender.

The tension that hung in the air could be cut by a knife.

Edward forgot how to breathe as Roy's lips parted slightly and his eyes slowly shifted slightly, falling upon Ed's golden ones, and it was then that the tension was shattered by four shots, each fired in rapid succession.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

And it was after the fourth that Roy Mustang fell.


	23. The Flame Extinguished

Central City, Amestris. 1919

 

Edward's vision went out of focus as Roy's body fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Through the cloudy haze, Ed saw that the Ishvalan's shoulder's were heaving- he was breathing heavily. Wide-eyed and in shock of what he had done, the Ishvalan lowered his gun and took one step backward. He took another before he turned around completely, running past Edward, leaving behind nothing but a soft gust of air as he rushed by, the scent of gunpowder, and the lingering by distinct metallic smell of blood.

A soundless breath finally escaped from in between Edward's lips as he fell to his knees. His kneecaps abruptly coming into contact with the cobblestone sent a searing pain shooting up his legs and spine that made his vision go black.

When he awoke, whether it be a second or a minute or an hour later, Ed lay on the ground on his stomach. The front of his shirt, his coat sleeves, and his right cheek were all wet. He had awoken in a puddle, no, an ocean, and the ocean wasn't clear like crystal or blue like the sky, but it was red.

A dark, sickening red.

Edward's chest trembled as he shakily lifted himself up onto his hands and knees and dragged himself to the middle of the ocean where Roy lay deathly still. The back of his blue coat was now stained black.

With his breath raspy and uneven, Edward sat himself up next to Roy and put his automail hand on his back. He slowly reached out the other quivering hand which he used to smooth back Roy's heavy, blood-saturated hair which formerly clung to his forehead and obscured the now unrecognizable left side of his face from which blood-slick bone shone slightly in the afternoon sun.

A wet, stomach-turning sound was heard as Edward brought his hand away from Roy's back.

A strangled whine came from Ed's throat as he gently put his hands on Roy's shoulder and shook him slightly.

"St-stop it, Roy..." he whimpered softly. "This joke..." He bit his lip and shook his head.

"This joke...it isn't funny..."

Roy didn't respond. Ed shook him again. Tears began to run down Edward's blood and dirt-streaked face.

"Come on... stop it..." he pleaded. "Please... Roy, stop it. It isn't funny."

Still nothing.

Edward's shoulders pitched forward and his face contorted as he tried to choke back sobs. He rocked back and forth, still shaking Roy.

"...wake up..." he choked. "It isn't funny... it isn't funny..."

Edward bowed his head and then doubled over at the waist. He put his forehead against Roy's body as his mouth slowly opened wide and his eyes shut as he cried out in agony, but no sound came out.

Footfall was heard. Alphonse and Havoc froze at the entrance of the alleyway, and they stood there as blood wandered the maze of the spaces in between the cobblestones and flowed beneath their boots like a river beneath a bridge.

Alphonse's lips parted slightly and the action disturbed his sliced open cheek. Blood ran freely down his pale skin like a tear.

"STOP IT, ROY!" Edward yelled, lifting his head. His voice then lowered into a hushed and restrained sob. "...you're scaring me..." 

Edward shook Roy's cold body again. "YOU'RE SCARING ME! STOP IT! Stop it...stop it...make it stop..."

The look on Ed's face as he begged Roy to wake up would haunt Havoc for a long time. Edward let out a sorrowful cry before he turned his head and looked at the two people at the entrance of the alleyway.

"Havoc..." Edward whispered pleadingly. "Make him stop. Al-Alphonse... make him stop.... make him stop."

It isn't funny.

It isn't funny.

 

I have endured twelve years of pain...

 

Please... just make it end...

 

Make it stop...

 

And in the end...

...I always end up losing people.

 

Alphonse put a hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight as he felt something hot and wet run over his fingers.

 

"STOP IT, ROY!" Edward sobbed. "Stop it! Stop it- stop it..."

 

Stop it.

 

 

~Let it all out...

...let it all out

You don't have to act so brave

The flowers that somebody scribbled on the wall are swaying

Nobody knows what makes them unique

We both lose and gain

By embarking on this long, long path

And though there may be days

Loneliness strikes and makes us weep

Let's turn our tears and pain into stars

We'll light a candle to illuminate our tomorrow

Even if we get a little lost, together we'll make stardust

We'll search for the eternity that shines so brightly

Let it all out, let it all out

There's a lot of things you lack, aren't there?

But it's okay you aren't perfect...

That's how I met you in the first place

You wanted to know exactly what tomorrow was

You had a little knife hidden in your sock

But putting on a brave face and telling the lie

Hurt so much more

I know that you might be scared

But you'll keep moving forward

The meaning behind your smile is playing in the wind

Let's hold up our little hands

And together we'll make stardust

We'll search for the eternity that shines so brightly~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You knew what was coming. I told you it'd end with a bang. *snap, finger-point, wink!*. Next is the last chapter.


	24. A Pretty Little Bow

Central City, Amestris. 1920

 

When I was young, my mother used to read Al and I bedtime stories. Roy's mother used to do the same for him and his adoptive brother, Grant Albright. The stories that Trisha and Liliana read were the same too, with endings wrapped in pretty little bows- problems solved and smiles all around.

But life isn't is a bedtime story.

It isn't perfect. The world isn't perfect. And it had been rid of an individual who brought it one step closer to perfection.

I shed more than a few tears as the casket was lowered into the ground.

Everyone did.

And the days and weeks and months following that were rough on all of us.

May 23rd, 1919 was the day that a group of young Ishvalans banded together and violently spoke out against the appointment of General Roy Mustang as fuhrer. That was also the day Roy Mustang would have announced the campaign he had been planning for a long while- a campaign to help rebuild the Ishval region and make well due peace with its people.

Thirty one of Central's finest officers died that day. So did twenty five Ishvalans and fourteen civilians, one of which was a ten year old child.

With a heavy heart, one by one, each of us gently tossed a white lily upon the casket that lay in the open grave.

Riza was a woman of few words, but she touched so many lives. She was only thirty when she died, killed in the crossfire that ensued after Mustang was shot by the elder brother of Heathcliffe Erbe in an attempt to avenge his brother's death.

Hawkeye would have turned thirty one the following Tuesday.

Hawkeye didn't have any family, and not many friends outside of the military. In her will she left half of her savings to Mustang. The other half she left to Havoc. She and Jean had been growing much closer in the months before her passing, however, being left something in the will came as quite a surprise to the man. Not knowing what to do with it, and not really wanting to do something with it either, Havoc bought himself a train ticket and put the rest toward the funeral and charity. After that, he took off, and no one saw him for a while.

He needed space, I suppose.

Meanwhile, Riza's dog, Black Hayate, was left without an owner. Although he was more of a cat person, Alphonse volunteered to take care of him. Hayate lived in Resembool with Al and got along well with Winry's aging dog, Den. Alphonse and Winry are currently dating. They live simply, but happily with one another. Al is really sweet on her and it honestly makes me gag sometimes. But they deserve each other's company.

And yeah, I know who you're waiting to hear about. But remember, patience is a virtue.

First, let me let you in on a little secret, that really isn't a secret at all.

...Truth is an ass.

It likes to play games and it has its grubby hands in everything.

But if it has its hands in everything...well, that means I owe it everything. It is because of Truth that I met Lee Tim, otherwise known as Roy Mustang.

I love Roy.

I will always love Roy. And it was because of Truth that I am able to love Roy for the person he was...

 

 

Edward stopped writing and put his fountain pen down as he heard someone say his name.

"Hey," the voice called softly. "Are you still there, Fullmetal?"

Without a word, Edward lifted his head and looked at the desk across the room, at which sat a dark haired man with a black eye patch over his left eye.

Roy smiled softly to himself.

"I'm sorry, Ed, I...I just couldn't see you over all of my paperwork."

 

 

...And it is also because of Truth that Roy lived. And I will be able to love him for the person he will be.

A small smile spread across Edward's face.

"Shut up, Bastard, and get back to it. Are you working hard or hardly working?"

 

 

I thought I had lost everything

But only you know it's not like that

I'm so thankful that you're here with me

 

Let's turn our tears and pain into stars

We'll light a candle to illuminate our tomorrow

Let's hold up our little hands

And together we'll make stardust

For an eternity that shines so brightly

 

There may come a day when we have to say goodbye

Yet the seasons continue to change obliviously

Even if I lose myself, I'll continue to walk

Walk by your side

 

...And that's one thing I'd like to never change 

 

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT'S OVER. FUCK. I FEEL LIKE A GREAT WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF OF MY CHEST.   
> The entirety of this story has been edited three times. I don't know what I was thinking.


End file.
